[Elfsea] Elfsea Digest, Vol 26, Issue 4

[Michelle Dodd]

VERY well said. 
Whenever we talk about recreating the Middle Ages 'only better' we usually speak about not having plagues, and the occasional shower or flush toilet & that everyone gets to fight if they want to. We forget the one thing that has been so romanticized about the middle ages but has become so rare in the modern world; Manners. There are forgotten words & phrases; Please, may I help, yes thank you, no thank you, thank you for your help. They are just simple words, but you know that when you hear them said to you, they can make you feel lifted up. 
Please let us try to remember to use these simple words to help us create the world we pretend to. (It is easier if you practice in the modern world. It has the same effect as smiling.)
yis
Gabriele
"To dream anything that you want to dream, that is the beauty of the human mind.To trust anything that you want to do, that is the strength of the human will.To trust yourself, to test your limits, that is the courage to succeed."   Bernard Edmonds


From: brandyrose5 at hotmail.comTo: elfsea at lists.ansteorra.orgDate: Tue, 3 Jun 2008 14:50:34 -0500Subject: Re: [Elfsea] Elfsea Digest, Vol 26, Issue 4


I think this is what Maria was talking about.  I mean it's great to volunteer for the sake of volunteering, and for the feeling that you helped make an event run more smoothly, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't receive a "thank you".  If I ran 3 days of children's events, I would at least expect a thank you from the parents of the children I watched, if not from the autocrat for taking such a large responsibility off the hands of those "in charge" for the weekend.  If a gentleman carries my chair across site, or even just offers, I ensure I say "thank you".  Every person who helps anyone out should receive some recognition.  I remember when it was the practice of the general populace to thank the autocrat for a wonderful event.  We have begun to take the attitude that it is taken care of in court. I remember when on Sunday it was not unusual to hear those leaving site to thank the autocrat for all of their hard work.  Sometimes a personal thank you from a "nobody" means more than a thank you from the crown or on an email list.  If I give of myself, and am never thanked, why would I continue to give to those who expect thanks, but never give it?  It doesn't have to be fancy or public, just given.  I know the tendency is to abuse those that give of themselves so freely by just expecting them to perform because they always have.  It is how burnout becomes a way of life, not just a catchphrase. Everyone is so busy.  So many give so much of their time, and it is not enough because someone else with more time seemed to give more.  It's all a matter of perception.  If  I only have a dollar and I give it all, is my contribution less than those who gave 5 even though they had 100 to give?  Everyone is so worried about what they are doing, or what someone else isn't doing, or that someone else doesn't deserve a thank you because their contribution is smaller in some way.  Sometimes, it's more important to take a step back and acknowledge the others that are working as well.  Just because their contribution doesn't meet your standards, or it is what is "expected" of that person, it doesn't make it any less worthy of a "thank you".   If we all take that extra time, everyone will get the recognition the is due.  This isn't a new problem, but the way to solve it has never been to point your finger at those asking not to be abused, but to shift your own paradigm and remember what you would feel like if no one ever said thank you to you for your contribution no matter how big or how small.  i.e. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes for a while.  Just my two cents,Elfsea Baronial Brat #1 (literally) Marion 


Date: Tue, 3 Jun 2008 14:12:59 -0500From: whiteoakbard at gmail.comTo: elfsea at lists.ansteorra.orgSubject: Re: [Elfsea] Elfsea Digest, Vol 26, Issue 4
Lady Maria said: "HUGE beef is that no ever says thank you anymore....unless you are someoneof importance.  I was asked 3 years in a row to run the children'sactivities at Warlord, I was never publicly thanked.  The fourth year I wasasked to do it again, I said could not do it....yes, I lied.  I lied becauseI felt I was unappreciated. Why should I run 3 days of activities and notget a simple thank you??  I've helped people set up their sites and again nothank you from the person I helped. Recently, when I stepped down from aKingdom Office and had handed over everything, I opened the Black Star andthere was no mention of thanking me for running the office.  I was crushed.I admit I didn't do my best near the end in my office but I had a ton ofmundane things going on in my life (which is the reason I stepped down), butit is still no excuse for a lack of bad manners.  As a result, I will mostlikely never volunteer to run an office again....nor just volunteer again."
 
Maybe, my lady, you are doing the volunteering for the wrong reasons. Sure, it's nice to get thanked. But do you really NEED to be thanked publicly each and every time you did something?
 
That's just my impression...take it as you will.
 
Eleanor-- "Mine honor is my life; both grow in one;take honor from me and my life is done."--William ShakespeareEgo existo obstinantus - I am resolvedReluctor ultum , pareo parum - Resist much, obey little 

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