[Elfsea] Sewing & the current issue

[Miss M Brow]

Dear Lady Luciana, thank you for understanding.  I do try to reach out and speak to people.  I am not usually a pushy person, so I try to make eye contact and smile first, and it seems that sometimes even making eye-contact with people who are busy with their own friends/problems is quite difficult.  
 
The last... er, first...er, only Moot I attended, I did speak briefly with several people that I knew already (Caelin & Pyro, Ascelyn & Fearghus, Hanna) and I was lucky enough to have met the Lady Adelaide on the way (she met me so I could follow her because I was having trouble finding the place).  I made the attempt to be friendly and speak with two others, one of whom after making brief eye contact turned her back and didn't acknowledge me again (and yes I did try to make eye contact a second time in order to attempt initiating a conversation), and one who said hello and then also was busy in her own business.  Of course being somewhat shy I gave up trying to talk to new people... you can no more force a friendship to develop than you can force love to blossom.  
 
It is extremely frustrating to try and talk to people you don't know at all.  I am afraid I am at a loss as to how to further my association with this fine group of people.  While I am not ready to throw in the towel just yet, my desire for involvement in the Barony of Elfsea flickers like a candle in a breeze.  
 
Just so people will know; I am a middleaged single (widowed) female, a bit overweight with reddish  shoulder length hair.  I usually wear a plain linen smock with an overgown of cotton in a dull red/cream check pattern.  If you see me, please do say hello.  I am not dangerous, do not bite or stalk, and would love to meet more people in the group.
 
Rua


Date: Thu, 5 Jun 2008 15:19:04 -0500From: dolce.luce at gmail.comTo: elfsea at lists.ansteorra.orgSubject: Re: [Elfsea] Sewing & the current issue
On 6/5/08, Miss M Brow <starstruck503 at hotmail.com> wrote: 

Nobody in this group has made any effort to get to know me.  I have tried to make friends with various people, yet I feel like I am at best welcomed as an extra set of hands.  I have no friend in the group to take me around the way a lot of newbies do, and it is extremely hard for me to reach out.  Without the occasional instance of someone in the group reaching out to *me* it feels as though I am and always will be an outsider.  A great deal of this is only my perception, it is not backed up by the way I am treated, but nonetheless it is still all one-sided.  I am the one who has been trying to connect with the group for the past two years, and it is still not reciprocal. 
 
My Lady, please accept my apologies for my own inattentiveness. I have had a lot on my plate for some time now. I am finally starting to get my head towards the top of the water level in my own little pond.
 
You are right in your observations, I fear. There was a good gentle and his lady that came to several moots a while back. I was the only person I ever saw talking to them. They were more than eager to become involved in things, but they stopped coming when people did not speak with them or interact with them.
 
Just sitting there, alone, can be difficult at best.
 
I have to remember, though, that when I joined the barony, all kinds of invitations were offered to me. It was difficult at times to choose which gatherings to go to. People went out of their way to be friendly and sociable to me.
 
I do not know why I was so lucky, and others were not. I do know that a friendship takes two. I know that now, when I am not spoken to, it is usually because I did not speak to others first, or did not open myself up to having people talk to me.
 
You get what you put into things. Thank you for helping me to remember that.
 
I hope that you find what you are looking for
Luciana
 
-- В Обслуживании, Леди Лучане Катерине де Боргезе "If it's difficult we do it immediately.  If it's impossible it takes a little longer.......  Miracles by appointment only" 
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