[Elfsea] issue

[Steven Bowman]

I am dismayed as I write this.  As much as we proclaim in court that
Ansteorra is growing and strong I fear that she much like the rest of the
SCA is shrinking.  I have brought 5 friends on separate occasions to
fighter practice. I have invited them to events.  Because of their
experience with practice most refuse to come.  I did manage to get one of
my friends to come this past weekend to KRA.

I had an awesome time fencing with friends at KRA.  I learned some stuff.
 But I noticed much like my friend that being a new comer isn't easy.

 "how was the event? Did you meet new people?"

 "It was ok. No, no one really talked to me.  I said Hi to a few people but
no one took the time to ask who I was or where I was from." (Disclaimer
this was before court.  We sat next to a lovely couple in court that were
both pointy hats from Bordermarch who were pleasant and most welcoming)

In an event with so many pointy hats, laurels, white scarves, red scarves,
and um... oh yeah pelicans it amazed both of us that there wasn't more
welcoming of new comers.  This is not a single incident either.

At practice one of my friends, who proclaimed they were interested in
heavy, was ignored.  I tried to introduce him and myself to people that we
didn't know (cough white belts).  We received a Hi followed quickly by an
ABC conversation that wandered towards the fighting field and no one
returned to even offer to ask questions.

There are people in the area locally that still won't give me the time of
day because "so many new people come through that they don't want to waste
their time".  I am wondering if you "wasted" your time that maybe the new
people might stay.

So the complaint I have from my friends is that the SCA is a bunch of
clicks that no one can seem to break into.  Even if they have similar
interests.  They become disheartened quickly and do not come back.

I am no different.  I was outgoing and annoyed my way into people knowing
who I am at least locally.  I am lucky that on my 2nd time back to practice
I met with two individuals that restored my faith in the SCA somewhat.
 Those 2 being our stellar majesty Brandon McDermott and Master Sebastian,
our local Seneschal.  They have been welcoming individuals from the moment
I said hello.  There have been others that after exposure have come around
to being welcoming.  Seriously though, that shouldn't take months.

There are few others that have been immediately welcoming. Elizabeth
Marshall and her husband come to mind.  Very few others.  Mostly my
friends respond to my prodding about coming to the events with "I'm not
part of that click"

I am sorry Ansteorra but I think you forgot something.  That pointy hat,
that scarf, belt, necklace... those aren't awards.  Those are
responsibilities. Those are there to show others that you have been
recognized as having peer like qualities or close to it.  Part of those
qualities is welcoming new guests.  When a current member brings a guest,
everyone (especially peers) should go out of their way to make them feel
welcome.  I shouldn't have to feel awkward talking to my friends about the
SCA.  It's become a sore subject.

Unfortunately, at the time I didn't know some of the local people well
enough to email or message them to come meet us. You know what though I
shouldn't have to.  So I am putting this call out to everyone in the SCA.
If you see someone you have never seen before, haven't met, haven't talked
to, then go meet them.  Go up to a new person and say more then Hi.  You
say hi to a stranger on the street.  This is potentially SCA family.  They
might be new to the SCA or they might just be new to the group.

If you aren't willing to take on that responsibility then why are you here?
Most people aren't going to put in the time to overcome shyness and concern
worrying about rejection to put themselves out there. I don't care.   I'll
walk up to anyone and say hi.  Some people you have to put it out there and
welcome.  Welcoming means more then just saying Hi. I can't say that
enough.

Oh an it's not just me. I watch a group of muggles walk into KRA.  They
looked confused and bewildered. I watched 3... THREE!!!! pointy hats walk
around them.  I took 5 minutes to talk to them. They were a wonderful group
of people.  They were interested but so many people walked by acting like
they didn't matter or weren't there that I doubt they will be back. It
would be awesome if they did.

Don't shun new people.  If you want me to continue to bring new people...
knock it off.
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