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From: &quot;Richard Threlkeld&quot; &lt;rjt@softwareinnovation.com&gt;
To: &quot;Betsy Marshal&quot; &lt;betsy@softwareinnovation.com&gt;
Subject: FW: 
Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 15:21:11 -0500
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From: &quot;Ruth Harton&quot; &lt;danae@entermail.net&gt;
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Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 15:47:43 -0400
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Subject: [SCA-Waterbearers] Smiles from far away
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This was too good to pass up.
Peace
Danae

&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Found at:  http://www.aracnet.com/~avalon/cosmic/sca_ufo.html
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; UFO Sightings
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; We were discussing several possible UFO sitings mentioned to us
&gt; &gt; recently
&gt; &gt; &gt; at a couple different SCA events, and it got us to thinking...
&gt; &gt; What would
&gt; &gt; &gt; the SCA do if a UFO set down at an event?
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Constable: &quot;Get that thing off the eric, and move it to the
&gt; &gt; parking lot,
&gt; &gt; &gt; please.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Laurel: &quot;Welcome. Can I help show you the way to Gold Key? Your =
out of
&gt; &gt; &gt; period and it is really messing up our event.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Herald: &quot;Here to meet in honorable combat, Lord Darth Vader and =
Luke
&gt; &gt; &gt; Skywalker of Tatooine.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Gate: &quot;Excuse me, but have you signed the proper waivers?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshall: &quot;I'd like to see some duct tape on those things.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; The Crown: &quot;Has anyone yet declared your planet for An Tir?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshalate: &quot;HOLD! Can you put a thrusting tip on that blaster?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Pelican: &quot;Wow! 6 hands! Can I get you to help with the Feast dish
&gt; &gt; &gt; cleanup?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Gate Wardens: &quot;That'll be 12 dollars for you, and 47,635
&gt; &gt; dollars for all
&gt; &gt; &gt; the grubs.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Chiurgeons: &quot;Hey, you need to get out of the sun! You're looking =
all
&gt; &gt; &gt; green! Oh, that's your natural color? Be sure to see the
&gt; waterbearers.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Waterbearers: &quot;Okay, so you're green normally, but be sure to
&gt; &gt; drink lots
&gt; &gt; &gt; of fluids! No, that was not water, that was our camp stove =
fuel...&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Chivalry: &quot;Take off that white belt! [ZAP] Uh, please?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Merchants: &quot;Ahhh, exactly what is the exchange rate of a
&gt; gythezixtyus?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Laurels: [Busily knitting a really big cozy to disquise this
&gt; &gt; large metal
&gt; &gt; &gt; monstrosity]
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Gucci Household: &quot;Gleezub, is it? Come, let me teach you one of
&gt; &gt; our local
&gt; &gt; &gt; customs......we call it Tablero....&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Exchequer: &quot;Site fee, please. No, I don't know the exchange
&gt; rate. US or
&gt; &gt; &gt; Canadian funds only.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Herald: &quot;How do you pronounce your name? (madly flipping thru =
book)
&gt; &gt; &gt; Where's the protocol for this...&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Kingdom Seneschal (to King): &quot;They want us to join their =
Empire...&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshalls: &quot;May we see the inside of your helms concerning
&gt; construction
&gt; &gt; &gt; details?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Heralds: &quot;Oyez, oyez, oyez! My lords and ladies, pray attend!
&gt; Would the
&gt; &gt; &gt; owner/operator of the UFO parked on the eric please remove it now! =
I
&gt; &gt; &gt; thank you!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Herald: &quot;My Lords and Ladies, please pray attend. Due to an
&gt; &gt; oversight in
&gt; &gt; &gt; EMERGENCY PLANNING... We have neglected to organize an emergency =
alien
&gt; &gt; &gt; invasion plan, please exit the site in an calm and orderly =
fashion.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshals: [Trying to restrain the gypsies, who are insisting that =
the
&gt; &gt; &gt; small shiny space ships would dangle and clink just nicely on =
their
&gt; &gt; &gt; belts.]
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Gate: &quot;Look, guys! I don't care HOW FAR you've come. You're
&gt; not playing
&gt; &gt; &gt; without signed MINOR WAIVERS.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; King: &quot;How DARE you disturb my court!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshal (standing infront of 4&quot; alien looking frantically through
&gt; &gt; &gt; fighting rule book): &quot;I'm SURE there is something in here about
&gt; &gt; a height
&gt; &gt; &gt; requirement!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Listsmistress: &quot;No, you CAN'T enter the tourney halfway through!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshallate: &quot;Are you ready my lords? By the way, beware of that =
large
&gt; &gt; &gt; metallic object on the edge of the eric.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Chirurgeonate: &quot;Anybody stuck underneath?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Heralds: &quot;My lords and ladies, pray attend!
&gt; &gt; [Mufflemufflemufflemuffle] in
&gt; &gt; &gt; five minutes!&quot; (What, you thought this would change?!)
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Chivalry: &quot;Ooo! Cool armor!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; The Order of the Pelican: &quot;That thing looks tarnished.
&gt; Anybody got some
&gt; &gt; &gt; polish handy?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Archery Marshalls: &quot;What pound bow do you draw?&quot; (followed by &quot;I =
don't
&gt; &gt; &gt; care how many arms you have, you can only shoot ONE bow!!&quot;)
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Macflandry troop officer/NCO: &quot;Stand here. Hold this. Have a =
cookie.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt; (aside to a trooper - &quot;Get more Pikes!&quot;)
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Marshall: &quot;Are they heavy or light fighters?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Ithra: &quot;What do you know? Can you teach it? Do you have enough
&gt; &gt; materials
&gt; &gt; &gt; on hand to share, or can we help you pull something together for =
your
&gt; &gt; &gt; presentation? (I'm sure the middle ages on another planet must be
&gt; &gt; &gt; fascinating...!??)&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Newbie: &quot;WOW! Why didn't anybody tell me about this
&gt; &gt; organization before?!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Costumer: &quot;What kind of stitch is that?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Bard: &quot;What rhymes with 'alien'?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Longtime SCAdian who's an even longer-time member of the armed =
forces:
&gt; &gt; &gt; &quot;Uh oh... one of 'em's escaped!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Rapier Fighter (thumbing through DeGrassi's Arte of Defence):
&gt; &gt; &gt; &quot;Hmmmmmmm....rapier and blaster, rapier and blaster.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; 1st Rapier Marshal: &quot;NO, The circumference for a buckler is 30
&gt; &gt; &gt; inches--not 300 feet.&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; 2nd Rapier Marshal: &quot;What gorget, they don't have any necks!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; 3rd Rapier Marshal: &quot;Case is only 2 rapiers, not 6!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Laurel: &quot;Lets see now, a doublet with 6 slash sleeves...&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Costumer: (first look) &quot;Where are the *seams*?&quot; (second look)
&gt; &gt; &quot;Where are
&gt; &gt; &gt; the *threads*?!&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; And from the front comes the cry, &quot;Can they do gate duty?&quot;
&gt; &gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; &gt; Contributors (in no particular order)--Lady Dizzy, Finlaech
&gt; &gt; &gt; MacGillandrias, Raf Garansdottir, Roger, Father Marcos de Foronda =
of
&gt; &gt; &gt; Oakdale, Lord Brian McKay, Finlaech MacGillandrias, Eirikr inn =
kengr,
&gt; &gt; &gt; Erliss Greylizard, Uilliam mac Aill=E9n vhic S=E9amus, Nadezhda, =
Aislinn
&gt; &gt; &gt; ingen Eoin mhic Domnaill, Lord Conall, Iain, Laurin of
&gt; &gt; Rosewood, Astrid,
&gt; &gt; &gt; Reginald de Bosco,
&gt; &gt;
&gt;
&gt;



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