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From: "Richard Threlkeld" <rjt@softwareinnovation.com>
To: "Betsy Marshal" <betsy@softwareinnovation.com>
Subject: FW: 
Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 15:21:11 -0500
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From: "Ruth Harton" <danae@entermail.net>
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Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 15:47:43 -0400
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Subject: [SCA-Waterbearers] Smiles from far away
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Status: U

This was too good to pass up.
Peace
Danae

> >
> > > Found at:  http://www.aracnet.com/~avalon/cosmic/sca_ufo.html
> > >
> > > UFO Sightings
> > >
> > > We were discussing several possible UFO sitings mentioned to us
> > recently
> > > at a couple different SCA events, and it got us to thinking...
> > What would
> > > the SCA do if a UFO set down at an event?
> > >
> > > Constable: "Get that thing off the eric, and move it to the
> > parking lot,
> > > please."
> > >
> > > Laurel: "Welcome. Can I help show you the way to Gold Key? Your =
out of
> > > period and it is really messing up our event."
> > >
> > > Herald: "Here to meet in honorable combat, Lord Darth Vader and =
Luke
> > > Skywalker of Tatooine."
> > >
> > > Gate: "Excuse me, but have you signed the proper waivers?"
> > >
> > > Marshall: "I'd like to see some duct tape on those things."
> > >
> > > The Crown: "Has anyone yet declared your planet for An Tir?"
> > >
> > > Marshalate: "HOLD! Can you put a thrusting tip on that blaster?"
> > >
> > > Pelican: "Wow! 6 hands! Can I get you to help with the Feast dish
> > > cleanup?"
> > >
> > > Gate Wardens: "That'll be 12 dollars for you, and 47,635
> > dollars for all
> > > the grubs."
> > >
> > > Chiurgeons: "Hey, you need to get out of the sun! You're looking =
all
> > > green! Oh, that's your natural color? Be sure to see the
> waterbearers."
> > >
> > > Waterbearers: "Okay, so you're green normally, but be sure to
> > drink lots
> > > of fluids! No, that was not water, that was our camp stove =
fuel..."
> > >
> > > Chivalry: "Take off that white belt! [ZAP] Uh, please?"
> > >
> > > Merchants: "Ahhh, exactly what is the exchange rate of a
> gythezixtyus?"
> > >
> > > Laurels: [Busily knitting a really big cozy to disquise this
> > large metal
> > > monstrosity]
> > >
> > > Gucci Household: "Gleezub, is it? Come, let me teach you one of
> > our local
> > > customs......we call it Tablero...."
> > >
> > > Exchequer: "Site fee, please. No, I don't know the exchange
> rate. US or
> > > Canadian funds only."
> > >
> > > Herald: "How do you pronounce your name? (madly flipping thru =
book)
> > > Where's the protocol for this..."
> > >
> > > Kingdom Seneschal (to King): "They want us to join their =
Empire..."
> > >
> > > Marshalls: "May we see the inside of your helms concerning
> construction
> > > details?"
> > >
> > > Heralds: "Oyez, oyez, oyez! My lords and ladies, pray attend!
> Would the
> > > owner/operator of the UFO parked on the eric please remove it now! =
I
> > > thank you!"
> > >
> > > Herald: "My Lords and Ladies, please pray attend. Due to an
> > oversight in
> > > EMERGENCY PLANNING... We have neglected to organize an emergency =
alien
> > > invasion plan, please exit the site in an calm and orderly =
fashion."
> > >
> > > Marshals: [Trying to restrain the gypsies, who are insisting that =
the
> > > small shiny space ships would dangle and clink just nicely on =
their
> > > belts.]
> > >
> > > Gate: "Look, guys! I don't care HOW FAR you've come. You're
> not playing
> > > without signed MINOR WAIVERS."
> > >
> > > King: "How DARE you disturb my court!"
> > >
> > > Marshal (standing infront of 4" alien looking frantically through
> > > fighting rule book): "I'm SURE there is something in here about
> > a height
> > > requirement!"
> > >
> > > Listsmistress: "No, you CAN'T enter the tourney halfway through!"
> > >
> > > Marshallate: "Are you ready my lords? By the way, beware of that =
large
> > > metallic object on the edge of the eric."
> > >
> > > Chirurgeonate: "Anybody stuck underneath?"
> > >
> > > Heralds: "My lords and ladies, pray attend!
> > [Mufflemufflemufflemuffle] in
> > > five minutes!" (What, you thought this would change?!)
> > >
> > > Chivalry: "Ooo! Cool armor!"
> > >
> > > The Order of the Pelican: "That thing looks tarnished.
> Anybody got some
> > > polish handy?"
> > >
> > > Archery Marshalls: "What pound bow do you draw?" (followed by "I =
don't
> > > care how many arms you have, you can only shoot ONE bow!!")
> > >
> > > Macflandry troop officer/NCO: "Stand here. Hold this. Have a =
cookie."
> > > (aside to a trooper - "Get more Pikes!")
> > >
> > > Marshall: "Are they heavy or light fighters?"
> > >
> > > Ithra: "What do you know? Can you teach it? Do you have enough
> > materials
> > > on hand to share, or can we help you pull something together for =
your
> > > presentation? (I'm sure the middle ages on another planet must be
> > > fascinating...!??)"
> > >
> > > Newbie: "WOW! Why didn't anybody tell me about this
> > organization before?!"
> > >
> > > Costumer: "What kind of stitch is that?"
> > >
> > > Bard: "What rhymes with 'alien'?"
> > >
> > > Longtime SCAdian who's an even longer-time member of the armed =
forces:
> > > "Uh oh... one of 'em's escaped!"
> > >
> > > Rapier Fighter (thumbing through DeGrassi's Arte of Defence):
> > > "Hmmmmmmm....rapier and blaster, rapier and blaster."
> > >
> > > 1st Rapier Marshal: "NO, The circumference for a buckler is 30
> > > inches--not 300 feet."
> > >
> > > 2nd Rapier Marshal: "What gorget, they don't have any necks!"
> > >
> > > 3rd Rapier Marshal: "Case is only 2 rapiers, not 6!"
> > >
> > > Laurel: "Lets see now, a doublet with 6 slash sleeves..."
> > >
> > > Costumer: (first look) "Where are the *seams*?" (second look)
> > "Where are
> > > the *threads*?!"
> > >
> > > And from the front comes the cry, "Can they do gate duty?"
> > >
> > > Contributors (in no particular order)--Lady Dizzy, Finlaech
> > > MacGillandrias, Raf Garansdottir, Roger, Father Marcos de Foronda =
of
> > > Oakdale, Lord Brian McKay, Finlaech MacGillandrias, Eirikr inn =
kengr,
> > > Erliss Greylizard, Uilliam mac Aill=E9n vhic S=E9amus, Nadezhda, =
Aislinn
> > > ingen Eoin mhic Domnaill, Lord Conall, Iain, Laurin of
> > Rosewood, Astrid,
> > > Reginald de Bosco,
> >
>
>



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