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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Thank you, Crandall, for bringing a smile to my
day! I just love #9 (Ghandi). We all got a giggle with
these!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Genevieve</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=pcrandal@sbcglobal.net
href="mailto:pcrandal@sbcglobal.net">pcrandal@sbcglobal.net</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=elfsea@ansteorra.org
href="mailto:elfsea@ansteorra.org">elfsea@ansteorra.org</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Wednesday, November 30, 2005 12:47
PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Elfsea] Here are the 10 first
place winners in the International Pun Contest:</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal><B><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN
style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR>1. <SPAN
class=GramE>A</SPAN> vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only
one carrion allowed per passenger."<BR><BR>2 Two fish swim into a concrete
wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"<BR><BR>3. Two Eskimos
sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it too.<BR><BR>4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my
electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm
positive."<BR><BR>5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.<BR><BR>6. A
group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby
discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the
manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
why?<SPAN class=GramE>",</SPAN> they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said<SPAN class=GramE>, "</SPAN> I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."<BR><BR>7. A woman has twins and gives them up for
adoption. One of them goes to a family in </SPAN></FONT></B><B><FONT
face=Arial size=2><SPAN
style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">and is named
"<SPAN class=SpellE>Ahmal</SPAN>." The other goes to a family in
</SPAN></FONT></B><B><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN
style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of <SPAN class=SpellE>Ahmal</SPAN>. Her
husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen!
<SPAN class=SpellE>Ahmal</SPAN>."<BR><BR>8. These friars were behind on their
belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist
across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good
fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the
friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired
Hugh <SPAN class=SpellE>MacTaggart</SPAN>, the roughest and most vicious thug
in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist
friars.<BR><BR>9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from b! ad breath. This made him <SPAN class=GramE>...(</SPAN>Oh,
man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super <SPAN
class=GramE>calloused</SPAN> fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.<BR><BR>10.
<SPAN class=GramE>And</SPAN> finally, there was the person who sent ten
different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would
make them laugh. No pun in ten
did.</SPAN></FONT></B></P></DIV><BR><BR>"In all life one should comfort the
afflicted, but verily, also, one should <BR>afflict the comfortable, and
especially when they are comfortably, <BR>contentedly, even happily wrong."
<BR>-John Kenneth Galbraith
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