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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>Well said. Well thought out.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>Caelin<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
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<div style='border:none;border-top:solid #B5C4DF 1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in'>
<p class=MsoNormal><b><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>From:</span></b><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>
elfsea-bounces@lists.ansteorra.org [mailto:elfsea-bounces@lists.ansteorra.org] <b>On
Behalf Of </b>Susan McMahill<br>
<b>Sent:</b> Friday, June 06, 2008 15:15 PM<br>
<b>To:</b> Barony of Elfsea<br>
<b>Subject:</b> Re: [Elfsea] Why people are not staying<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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</div>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>Greetings,<br>
<br>
I have been out of town at my son's high school graduation in Oregon and have
just gotten caught up on my email reading. I was quite surprised and
disappointed to read this thread. As one of the Autocrats for Warlord XXXV, I
feel compelled to respond.<br>
<br>
There have been several issues presented in this thread and related ones. 1.
Nothing planned in the evening; 2. Dead time. 3. Private parties and/or
vigils; 4. Cliques; 5. Us vs. them; 6. Leaving early; and 7.
Thanks. I will respond to each as briefly as I can.<br>
<br>
1. Nothing planned in the evening. - Steppes Bardic almost always happens
on Saturday evening. There was no one who volunteered to run anything in the
evening other than those involved in the Celevigil and the Hafla. As it was,
the Hafla really didn't happen. If you want activities in the evening, please
have them. I posted several posts to the Ansteorran and Steppes list inviting
folks who wanted to include activities to notify me so that we could schedule them.
The only folks I heard from got their activities scheduled.<br>
<br>
2. Dead time - I actually laughed when I read this because we have complaints
every year from folks who are upset because there are so many activities that
are up against one another they have to choose one over another. This year we
had two archery activities that had to be cancelled before the event and
another that unfortunately was cancelled due to no one showing up to
participate until well after the activity was scheduled to begin. There were no
'teas' nor A & S displays because no one came forth to run them. As an
autocrat, it is my responsiblity to ensure that the championship events
occur...Steppes Warlord, Steppes Champion, and Steppes Archer. All other
activities occur if there are people to run them. This year we had no marshals
come forward to run Steppes Thrown Weapons or Steppes Children's Boffer
Activities. The autocrat team asked several individuals if they would be
interested in doing these things and were told 'no' by all of them. Published
notices on the Kingdom lists also went unanswered. <br>
<br>
3. Private parties/vigils - Technically the Celevigil WAS a 'private' party.
Because there would be alcohol served at the party, the Barony cannot have any
connection to it. We knew it was happening and had a security person pass
through occasionally, but that was all we could do. It could not be in the gate
handout. Sir Hrafn did have a vigil and received the advice and counsel of his
Chivalric brothers. Count Gunthar had his Laureling celebration and much food
and alcohol was enjoyed. They were both in close proximity, but I have not
heard that the vigil was far from others as far as what it entailed. I will
admit that I have not been to other Knight's vigils, but I have been to other Laurel
and Pelican vigils and at none of them have I seen the drunkeness that was
implied in describing vigils. Because Gunthar and Hrafn are friends, the
decision was made to combine the events so that people did not have to choose
one over the other to either help with or attend. I admire them for their
choice. It would have been so easy to be selfish and say that 'my' vigil/party
is more important than 'his' party/vigil.<br>
<br>
I know for a fact that everyone in the camping area was invited to the
Celevigil because Duke Miguel and others came around the campground and
personally invited all they saw to join them. They stopped at the autocrat
camping area and then went on to other camps. I heard them ask several groups
to join them. When I last saw them, they were going toward the Bardic
Competition. I don't know how much more invite folks need without a handwritten
invitation. There were enough notices on the e-lists that it was hard to not
know what was going on.<br>
<br>
4. Cliques - As long as there have been more than two people in this world,
there have been cliques. There is very little that can be done about these. I
have close friends in several 'groups.' Some of these groups do not get along
with others or with individuals that I consider friends in those groups. I try
to be on friendly terms with all of them. There are some folks I just don't get
along with...that's perfectly normal and acceptable. If you are having
difficulties with a group, maybe you should find out why instead of just
assuming that the whole group is an issue. <br>
<br>
When I moved to Steppes 6 years ago, I was received warmly by everyone I met.
Eventually, I made good friends of some folks and others were relegated to
acquaintance status. Our friends are those we have similar interests,
experiences, and close relationships with. It is impossible to be a close
friend to everyone. That doesn't mean that my close friends are a clique or
that we are not open to widening our circle of close friends, but it may mean
that a newcomer has to make an effort to become more than an acquaintance. I
will make every effort to be friendly to newcomers, but it takes serious work
and time to become friends. It took me a couple of years to really
consider many people in the Steppes or in the rest of Ansteorra to be my friends.
There are some folks that I tried to be friendly with that I discovered I
really didn't want as close friends and others that I didn't hit it off with at
first that are now very good friends. To come into a group and expect to become
integrated fully within less than a year is unrealistic. It takes work, time,
and dedication. When I came here, I was brand new to the SCA and didn't know a
soul in the DFW area save for my sister. I now consider Steppes and Ansteorra
my SCA home, though my heart is still in the pacific northwest.<br>
<br>
5. Us v. them -As Lady Irina stated so beautifully, this is largely a matter of
perception. One can only be offended if one chooses to take offense. One
can take a chip from one's shoulder, or one can parade it proudly.
If one chooses to wear his/her chip, one should not be surprised to
find oneself on the outside of things, or being avoided. People are very
uncomfortable with people carrying chips<br>
<br>
I have never been made to feel inferior or inadequate by anyone in Ansteorra who
wears a brass hat. On the contrary, one of my biggest joys and surprises was
when Baron Fritz gave me a huge hug at the first Steppes activity I attended,
and when I dared to speak to King Patrick Michael and Queen Julia, they were
most gracious. At the few activities I had been able to attend in An Tir, I had
been entirely unnoticed by anyone of save for Sir Brand, who taught the classes
I attended at the University of Ithra there.<br>
<br>
I would bet that most of the divide that has been mentioned around here is
largely assumptive. Unfortunately there is a problem with making
assumptions...you know, that old colloquialism about making an ass out of you
and me.<br>
<br>
6. I would like to address the issue about people leaving early. This is
something we, as autocrats wrestled with a great deal. We had asked to move the
Warlord competition to Sunday and were told no. Sunday evening is the best time
to have parties, as all of the primary activities are finished. I know many
folks who will not drink alcohol and retire early until their primary activity
is completed. I know that when I am running archery activities, I do not drink
on Saturday or Sunday until after the archery range is shut down.
Unfortunately, for the last several years, more and more people are deciding to
leave Sunday....all day.<br>
<br>
This year, it was the heat that was the primary motivator for the exodus (last
year it was the rain). Virtually everyone I asked why they were leaving early
said that they couldn't handle any more heat. I couldn't argue with them. This
year we made certain that we hired the hall all day Sunday as well as the
extended day on Saturday. As much as we would love to extend Sunday, too, the
cost is too prohibitive. <br>
<br>
Now, it's lovely that once upon a time there were all kinds of things happening
even though it was 108 degrees (I believe that's what Her Grace said), but our
population has gotten older since those days. I would be willing to bet that
the average age of participants has increased by about 10-15 years since then.
We can't handle the heat as well at our ages and the influx of newcomers from
out of the area aren't acclimated to it and may never get there. We had a heat
index of 106 at Warlord this year. The fact that there was very little in the
line of heat-related illness is a credit to the chiurgeonate and the water
bearers....and to the populace. <br>
<br>
We have gotten smarter about taking care of ourselves since the early days of
Ansteorra. Our armor is better, our weapons safer, we spend a lot more
attention to staying hydrated, keeping our electrolytes in balance and keeping
as cool as possible. We also have learned that alcohol and spending the day in
the heat isn't a great idea. Many of us retire to our camps to restore
ourselves so that we may participate fully the next day. That's part of why you
don't see all the parties that you used to. We eat and drink sensibly and
retire so that we don't end up sick and unable to enjoy the next day. <br>
<br>
7. Thanks - I try to say thanks to all who help me with any activity I
undertake. I miss people frequently. Usually, I think that I have said so
already, but also there are so many, I simply forget. They have my undying
gratitude, I simply forgot to include their name....or didn't know it.<br>
<br>
I know that I have forgotten to thank many for their help at Warlord. There
were so many....I got as many as I could when I made my thank you post, but
there were names that were omitted, I am sure, for the reasons above.<br>
<br>
I volunteer a lot, too much, my husband says. I am currently forbidden to volunteer
for anything for a while. Sometimes I get thanked, sometimes I do not. I know
that my work is appreciated nonetheless, but that the person/group I am helping
sometimes gets overwhelmed by the reasons above. I never, ever expect to be
thanked. I volunteer so that an event, which I am going to participate in,
takes place and runs more smoothly. I am benefitting from the experience both
of my doing, and from the event itself. I gain no matter what. I should be
thanking the person/group because I am getting the greater benefit. I sometimes
forget that thank you, too, unfortunately.<br>
<br>
For those of you, my cousins, who came to Warlord this year, and for those that
helped out in any way....Thank you! It was an amazing experience. This was my
first foray into autocratting and I learned so much, both about myself, and
about the process of stewarding an event. I thank you for the opportunity.<br>
<br>
In service,<br>
<br>
Lady Lyneya de Grey<br>
<br>
co-Autocrat, Warlord XXXV<br>
<br>
<br>
</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Lucida Handwriting"'>Well-behaved
women Seldom make history - </span><span style='font-size:7.5pt;
font-family:"Lucida Handwriting"'>Laurel Thatcher Ulrich</span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'><br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>
<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center id="EC_stopSpelling">
</span></div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>Date: Tue, 3 Jun 2008 11:40:48 -0500<br>
From: cidsound@gmail.com<br>
To: elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org<br>
Subject: Re: [Elfsea] Why people are not staying<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>Good
morning lords and ladies - <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>It
has been some time since I have been active - Warlord was really my first event
in several years and has served as a spring board to get myself going
again. The reason for going was to bring a young couple that specifically
asked me to take them to an SCA event. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>I'm
writing this because I have to dispute that the vigil specific to Warlord was a
private party; maybe that was the original intent. I did know several
people in the party and actually encountered Duke Miguel (I believe that is his
current title, if not please correct me!) who made a point of inviting myself
and the others that were with me. I actually drug the husband of the
couple almost kicking and screaming to the party because he thought that the
people "with the pointy hats" would be rude, stuck up and boring.
Literally within five minutes of having arrived and introducing him to several
people whom I felt would be patient with him - who also "wore shiny pointy
hats" this young couple was out of my hands and having a very grand time
being introduced to people and learning about who they were, what they did, and
how they supported the kingdom. I believe they finally retired around 3am
with a thoroughly changed view of "shiny pointy hats". The
absolute warmth and patience with which they were accepted into a ceremony they
didn't understand is a credit to our peers. I don't think the issue lies
so much with those who have attained a rank, it is the perception of others as
to what they must be like because they're a ........ (insert appropriate rank
and title). I think perhaps a little more attention on both sides would
do much service.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>A
good deal of this I feel is perception. When I joined the SCA I was 18
and was very active and after very little exposure I realized that those people
with the brass hats were not people to be afraid of or given much room -
they're there to help and with very little introduction I've found them to be
great people who readily toss in some advice or even help. A handful of
the people who were very influential for my first period in the SCA were people
who were of one rank or another and I found that I learned much from them and
still continue to learn from them - because I ask. Maybe I have fewer
reservations about approaching people and asking questions than others, but I
find that people don't get what they want because they don't ask.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>These
are my thoughts. Take them or leave them for what they're worth.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>In
Service,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>Lady
Irina Radokovaia<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>(Cid)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>--
<br>
"My heart is red & sweet, and I know it is sweet because what ever
passes near me puts out its tongue to me." --Sitting Bull <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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