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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>I was thinking about all this discussion late last night (about
2 AM, so my thinking might be a bit off). I thought about what had worked in
the past. What had drawn the disparate groups in Elfsea together. What had
built enthusiasm. What had made us all agree that “Life is good in Elfsea”.
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>I think it is one or two people who have an idea. They put their
enthusiasm behind the idea. They present it to everyone else. They take steps
to make it come to life. But they also understand that for the idea to take
hold, the rest of Elfsea must want to join in. And to get that to happen means
listening to the ideas of everyone else and letting the “idea”
morph into what the group wants and will support.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>The idea that came to mind was Baron Armand’s reawakening
of Baron Llwelyn’s Arthurian Guard. He organized it. He chose a captain
who had his vision and enthusiasm. He made space available in his warehouse for
practices. He talked to the sewing guild and others about making tabards. He
pushed everyone to practice often. People began to see ways to become a part of
the movement. We had food at fighter practices. It was fun. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>IMHO, this is the kind of thing that is missing in Elfsea. We
have the people who can do it. We have leaders, seconds in command, fighters,
craftsmen and women, and many with enthusiasm and dreams. Things were not that different
“in the old days”. We need one or two common goals which can become
the seed around which our people can for the pearl. It does not happen from
committee action. It happens when that one or two start it moving.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>In service,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'>Caelin on Andrede<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<div style='border:none;border-top:solid #B5C4DF 1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in'>
<p class=MsoNormal><b><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>From:</span></b><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Tahoma","sans-serif"'>
elfsea-bounces@lists.ansteorra.org [mailto:elfsea-bounces@lists.ansteorra.org] <b>On
Behalf Of </b>Dáire and Druinne -- the Hays Family<br>
<b>Sent:</b> Sunday, June 08, 2008 10:04 AM<br>
<b>To:</b> rikr_foetipper@yahoo.com; Barony of Elfsea<br>
<b>Subject:</b> Re: [Elfsea] Ironic Frustration - LONG<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'>The Bloody Baron
"from" Elfsea makes good points. We all have much to learn from
his time leading this barony.<br>
<br>
We have spent alot of time talking about what we like and do not like about
events. We will never have one event that presents all of us a definitive
"good time". The best we can do is hope that we provide an
opportunity for as many as we can to enjoy an activitity that they like.
But in the end, we are all responsible for our own good time.<br>
<br>
But he makes a really good point in his post script.<br>
<br>
We need discussion on the event calendar for 2009.<br>
<br>
Once again - <br>
<br>
Do we move Defender to second weekend in May and do a collegium in the fall?<br>
Do we keep Defender as is and do a collegium in late February?<br>
<br>
We need input. The officers of this barony need your good ideas.<br>
<br>
If the officers and those present reach consensus at business meeting, we will
be announcing, not discussing the changes at Moot.<br>
<br>
Please participate in this decision.<br>
<br>
in faith and fealty to our Crown<br>
Dáire and Druinne<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal>On Sun, Jun 8, 2008 at 9:38 AM, Rick Johnston <<a
href="mailto:rikr_foetipper@yahoo.com">rikr_foetipper@yahoo.com</a>> wrote:<o:p></o:p></p>
<table class=MsoNormalTable border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 width="100%"
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<td valign=top style='padding:0in 0in 0in 0in;font-style:inherit;font-variant:
inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit;font-size-adjust: inherit;
font-stretch: inherit'>
<p><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'>Well
said your excellency!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'>Rikr<br>
<br>
--- On <b>Sun, 6/8/08, Dragonetti <i><<a
href="mailto:dragonetti@generich.com" target="_blank">dragonetti@generich.com</a>></i></b>
wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<blockquote style='border:none;border-left:solid #1010FF 1.5pt;padding:0in 0in 0in 4.0pt;
margin-left:3.75pt;margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'>From: Dragonetti <<a href="mailto:dragonetti@generich.com"
target="_blank">dragonetti@generich.com</a>><br>
Subject: [Elfsea] Ironic Frustration - LONG<br>
To: "'Barony of Elfsea'" <<a
href="mailto:elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org" target="_blank">elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org</a>><br>
Date: Sunday, June 8, 2008, 5:23 AM<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-bottom:12.0pt'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>Greetings and felicitations,</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>My apologies for the long-winded ramblings...</span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>A friend of mine shared an observation</span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:blue'> </span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'>today
that I felt was quite insightful. Frustrated with the SCA recently, my friend
has observed a few others expressing frustrations online. It was noted that
many of the folks likely to resent, or feel targeted by some comments may do
so because those folks are, in fact, quite dedicated and
responsible, wishing to be good stewards in their
positions. Others who have a proclivity to be negative, unfriendly,
paranoid, indifferent, or whatever, are often oblivious to their own
indifference, rudeness, disruptiveness or negativity and no amount of
attention or pleading will enlighten them.</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>In other words, some who bring us down, are unaware or don't
care, while others doing their best to bring us up, feel attacked or unappreciated.
Not at all the desired effect. Regardless of which person or group you think
I'm inferring, the "other" person or group can just as easily feel
they have the moral high ground here.</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:blue'> </span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'> </span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>Its a sad dichotomy. Those in need of "heeding" a
suggestion are often least likely to think the message is for them. </span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>For instance, the topic of poor manners is sadly a recurring
theme. Those that pay attention, and take the concerns to heart, by
definition are already concerned (or inclined to be) about manners and likely
practice good manners already. Those that do not pay attention to such pleas,
or are turned off by them, are likely blissfully unaware that they are the
target audience. So much preaching to the choir. Those who understand, get it.
Those who don't, are not likely to as a result of reading about it online. </span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>Now in my opinion, any effort to effect change through sarcasm
or guilt, no matter how well-intentioned, is fundamentally flawed. In this
instance, the goal of sarcasm or guilt is to "wake 'em up" so
they'll see the error of their ways. I believe those for whom sarcasm or
guilt would be effective can be counseled in a more positive manner. If not,
sarcasm and guilt will hardly do the trick. For most, it will harden their
hearts and their resolve to resist the suggestion. The exact opposite of
the goal! They are negative forces that serve to stoke
strong emotions and deepen divisions. If a suggestion is particularly good,
the victim of the sarcasm may eventually concede, but will we all feel warm
and fuzzy as a result? I don't know about you, but I have never been endeared
towards any group or individual who throws guilt or sarcasm my way. And I am
certainly reluctant to reward it by taking the suggestion.....otherwise, I
simply invite more sarcasm or guilt the next time they wish to educate
me. </span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>While it may work for some, in my mind, it's a poor strategy. To
say, "well, that's what it takes to get any attention" is to admit
the weakness of one's contention. A truly good suggestion does not need
sarcasm or guilt to illicit action. It may be a documentable, period
movement, but that does not mean it is virtuetous. Now some good options do
go unheeded as well. It's unavoidable, for instance, say a group receives 3
solid bids for xxx, only one can be granted. People say they understand that,
but most feel hurt nonetheless, and whispers and accusations of cliques and
favoritism all too often occur. There's a fine line between well
meaning sarcasm and sour grapes.</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>Many seem to labor under a false assumption, that "those in
charge" are all powerful and can "make it so" with a
"wave of the scepter" or can somehow conspire to stop us from
having fun. HA! The power of our leaders derives directly from the populace
and the power (ie., co-operation) we give them.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>Now I truly believe most folks generally have good intentions.
In fact, rarely have I seen true sinister intent. However, too often it is
ascribed to those who voice concerns to the leadership, as well as to the
leaders who are usually just trying their best to make good decisions, which
are often very difficult and sometimes unpopular. Our methods may differ, and
our visions of the dream may be varied, but I believe we all desire an escape
from the foibles of our modern world and long for a place where honor and
chivalry reign supreme. It is frustrating for us all when our efforts to
create that place seem undermined or thwarted.</span><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>Miscommunication and incomplete facts are usually the culprit,
not an evil nature or mean spirit. The thing that saddens me most are the
friendships lost to stubbornness, missteps and miscommunications. And I have
lost my share.</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>When frustrated with a situation, I try to remember the only
thing I can truly change is myself and the way I choose to perceive the
situation. I can choose to "Thank" an officer for giving of their
time and resources to the group, or I can choose to gripe that I should have
gotten the position and could do a better job. I can advise a leader of
concerns, I can keep quiet and hope it blows over or I can choose to subvert
them if they turn a blind eye. (Though I will never intentionally do that.) </span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>So the next time you observe poor manners, you can be saddened,
offended, upset, gripe, chastise or you can choose to be generous, assume
mitigating circumstances, perhaps there are facts unknown to you, or better
yet simply provide an example of good manners yourself, without comment or
condescension. There are optimists and there are pessimists, and though I'm
more pessimistic than I would like to admit, I truly *want* to be an
optimist. I *can* choose to be one. My hope is to try and lead by example
with positive contributions and to use frustrating situations or
circumstances to remind me to do so. I believe no amount of "instruction"
given by me to another is going to change their nature, but by living the
best example that I can, while knowing I am not perfect, do I seek to be a
positive influence in the world.</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>So let me say "Thank you" to EVERYONE who strives to
make the SCA fun and a place where honor and chivalry reign supreme!</span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>HE Armand Dragonetti<br>
The Bloody Baron of Ansteorra</span><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:
"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";
color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
<div>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'>P.S.: Now what are gonna do about our calendar?</span><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"inherit","serif";color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<pre><span style='color:black'>_______________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></pre><pre><span
style='color:black'>Elfsea mailing list<o:p></o:p></span></pre><pre><span
style='color:black'><a href="mailto:Elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org"
target="_blank">Elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org</a><o:p></o:p></span></pre><pre><span
style='color:black'><a
href="http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/elfsea-ansteorra.org"
target="_blank">http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/elfsea-ansteorra.org</a><o:p></o:p></span></pre></blockquote>
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<p class=MsoNormal><br>
<br>
_______________________________________________<br>
Elfsea mailing list<br>
<a href="mailto:Elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org">Elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org</a><br>
<a href="http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/elfsea-ansteorra.org"
target="_blank">http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/elfsea-ansteorra.org</a><o:p></o:p></p>
</div>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
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