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<DIV align=left><FONT face=Arial>Greetings and felicitations,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>My apologies for the long-winded ramblings...</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>A friend of mine shared an observation<FONT
color=#0000ff><SPAN class=187594909-08062008> <FONT color=#000000>today
</FONT></SPAN></FONT>that I felt was quite insightful. Frustrated with the SCA
recently, my friend has observed a few others expressing frustrations online. It
was noted that many of the folks likely to resent, or feel targeted by some
comments may do so because those folks are, in fact, quite <SPAN
class=187594909-08062008>dedicated and </SPAN>responsible<SPAN
class=187594909-08062008>, </SPAN>wish<SPAN
class=187594909-08062008>ing </SPAN> to be good stewards in their
positions. Others who have a proclivity to be negative, unfriendly,
paranoid, indifferent, or whatever, are often oblivious to their own
indifference, rudeness, disruptiveness or negativity and no amount of attention
or pleading will enlighten them.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>In other words, some who bring us down, are unaware or
don't care, while others doing their best to bring us up, feel attacked or
unappreciated. Not at all the desired effect. Regardless of which person or
group you think I'm inferring, the "other" person or group can just as easily
feel they have the moral high ground here.<SPAN class=187594909-08062008><FONT
color=#0000ff size=2> </FONT></SPAN> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Its a sad dichotomy. Those in need of "heeding" a
suggestion are often least likely to think the message is for them.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>For instance, the topic of poor manners is sadly a
recurring theme. Those that pay attention, and take the concerns to heart, by
definition are already concerned (or inclined to be) about manners and likely
practice good manners already. Those that do not pay attention to such pleas, or
are turned off by them, are likely blissfully unaware that they are the target
audience. So much preaching to the choir. Those who understand, get it. Those
who don't, are not likely to as a result of reading about it online.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Now in my opinion, any effort to effect change through
sarcasm or guilt, no matter how well-intentioned, is fundamentally flawed. In
this instance, the goal of sarcasm or guilt is to "wake 'em up" so they'll see
the error of their ways. I believe those for whom sarcasm or guilt would be
effective can be counseled in a more positive manner. If not, sarcasm and guilt
will hardly do the trick. For most, it will harden their hearts and their
resolve to resist the suggestion. The <SPAN class=187594909-08062008>exact
</SPAN>opposite of the goal! <SPAN class=187594909-08062008>They
</SPAN>a<SPAN class=187594909-08062008>re </SPAN> negative force<SPAN
class=187594909-08062008>s </SPAN> that serve to stoke strong emotions and
deepen divisions. If a suggestion is particularly good, the victim of the
sarcasm may eventually concede, but will we all feel warm and fuzzy as a result?
I don't know about you, but I have never been endeared towards any group or
individual who throws guilt or sarcasm my way. And I am certainly reluctant to
reward it by taking the suggestion.....otherwise, I simply invite more sarcasm
or guilt the next time they wish to educate m<SPAN
class=187594909-08062008>e. </SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=187594909-08062008><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>While it may work for some, in my mind, it's a poor
strategy. To say, "well, that's what it takes to get any attention" is to admit
the weakness of one's contention. A truly good suggestion does not need sarcasm
or guilt to illicit action. It may be a documentable, period movement, but that
does not mean it is virtuetous. Now some good options do go unheeded as well.
It's unavoidable, for instance, say a group receives 3 solid bids for xxx, only
one can be granted. People say they understand that, but most feel hurt
nonetheless, and whispers and accusations of cliques and favoritism <SPAN
class=187594909-08062008>all </SPAN>too often occur. There's a fine line
between well meaning sarcasm and sour grapes.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=187594909-08062008>Many seem to labor under a
false assumption, that "those in charge" are all powerful and can "make it
so" with a "wave of the scepter" or can somehow conspire to stop us from
having fun. HA! The power of our leaders derives directly from the populace and
the power (ie., co-operation) we give them.</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=187594909-08062008></SPAN></FONT><FONT
face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>Now I truly believe most
folks generally have good intentions. In fact, rarely have I seen true sinister
intent. However, too often it is ascribed to those who voice concerns to the
leadership, as well as to the leaders who are usually just trying their best to
make good decisions, which are often very difficult and sometimes unpopular. Our
methods may differ, and our visions of the dream may be varied, but I believe we
all desire an escape from the foibles of our modern world and long for a place
where honor and chivalry reign supreme. It is frustrating for us all when our
efforts to create that place seem undermined or thwarted.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Miscommunication and incomplete facts are usually the
culprit, not an evil nature or mean spirit. The thing that saddens me most are
the friendships lost to stubbornness, missteps and miscommunications. And I have
lost my share.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>When frustrated with a situation, I try to remember the
only thing I can truly change is myself and the way I choose to perceive the
situation. I can choose to "Thank" an officer for giving of their time and
resources to the group, or I can choose to gripe that I should have gotten the
position and could do a better job. I can advise a leader of concerns, I
can keep quiet and hope it blows over or I can choose to subvert them if they
turn a blind eye. (Though I will never intentionally do that.) </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>So the next time you observe poor manners, you can be
saddened, offended, upset, gripe, chastise or you can choose to be generous,
assume mitigating circumstances, perhaps there are facts unknown to you, or
better yet simply provide an example of good manners yourself, without comment
or condescension. There are optimists and there are pessimists, and though I'm
more pessimistic than I would like to admit, I truly *want* to be an optimist. I
*can* choose to be one. My hope is to try and lead by example with positive
contributions and to use frustrating situations or circumstances to remind me to
do so. I believe no amount of "instruction" given by me to another is going to
change their nature, but by living the best example that I can, while knowing I
am not perfect, do I seek to be a positive influence in the world.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>So let me say "Thank you" to EVERYONE who strives to make
the SCA fun and a place where honor and chivalry reign supreme!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>HE Armand Dragonetti<BR>The Bloody Baron of
Ansteorra</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>P.S.: Now what are gonna do about our
calendar?</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>