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<DIV>Mi’lord Vittorio,</DIV>
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<DIV>I regret that I do not consistently have a pleasant and inviting
manner. It is a task I work on continually. I have to remind myself
that everyone - new comer and long time member - does not necessarily have
insight into my day, and so I should be at least pleasant if not friendly.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I regret that your initial visits to Elfsea fighter practice were not
fun. I am glad that His Majesty Lochlan and Master Sebastian took the time
to welcome you to the barony and the Society.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I appreciate your willingness to step up, and endure a bit of a firestorm,
with your post. There is a definite challenge in balancing the long time
member's sense of limited time with the newcomer's desire to find out what all
the fun is about.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>As Countess Amelot posted in another venue, I do prefer we long time
member's volunteering to be denoted as "If you are new, come ask me
questions." That way, if we are up to the task and volunteer, then we know
to step outside ourselves and be the welcoming host.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Again, I welcome both you and your lady to Elfsea!</DIV>
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<DIV>Alejandro</DIV>
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<DIV style="font-color: black"><B>From:</B> <A title=gnitsaf@gmail.com
href="mailto:gnitsaf@gmail.com">Steven Bowman</A> </DIV>
<DIV><B>Sent:</B> Tuesday, August 27, 2013 1:48 PM</DIV>
<DIV><B>To:</B> <A title=elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org
href="mailto:elfsea@lists.ansteorra.org">Barony of Elfsea</A> </DIV>
<DIV><B>Subject:</B> [Elfsea] issue</DIV></DIV></DIV>
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<DIV>I am dismayed as I write this. As much as we proclaim in court that
Ansteorra is growing and strong I fear that she much like the rest of the SCA is
shrinking. I have brought 5 friends on separate occasions to fighter
practice. I have invited them to events. Because of their experience with
practice most refuse to come. I did manage to get one of my friends to
come this past weekend to KRA. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I had an awesome time fencing with friends at KRA. I learned some
stuff. But I noticed much like my friend that being a new comer isn't
easy. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>"how was the event? Did you meet new people?"</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>"It was ok. No, no one really talked to me. I said Hi to a few people
but no one took the time to ask who I was or where I was from." (Disclaimer this
was before court. We sat next to a lovely couple in court that were both
pointy hats from Bordermarch who were pleasant and most welcoming)</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>In an event with so many pointy hats, laurels, white scarves, red scarves,
and um... oh yeah pelicans it amazed both of us that there wasn't more welcoming
of new comers. This is not a single incident either.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>At practice one of my friends, who proclaimed they were interested in
heavy, was ignored. I tried to introduce him and myself to people that we
didn't know (cough white belts). We received a Hi followed quickly by an
ABC conversation that wandered towards the fighting field and no one returned to
even offer to ask questions. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>There are people in the area locally that still won't give me the time of
day because "so many new people come through that they don't want to waste their
time". I am wondering if you "wasted" your time that maybe the new people
might stay.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>So the complaint I have from my friends is that the SCA is a bunch of
clicks that no one can seem to break into. Even if they have similar
interests. They become disheartened quickly and do not come back.
</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I am no different. I was outgoing and annoyed my way into people
knowing who I am at least locally. I am lucky that on my 2nd time back to
practice I met with two individuals that restored my faith in the SCA
somewhat. Those 2 being our stellar majesty Brandon McDermott and Master
Sebastian, our local Seneschal. They have been welcoming individuals from
the moment I said hello. There have been others that after exposure have
come around to being welcoming. Seriously though, that shouldn't take
months.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>There are few others that have been immediately welcoming. Elizabeth
Marshall and her husband come to mind. Very few others. Mostly my
friends respond to my prodding about coming to the events with "I'm not part of
that click"</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I am sorry Ansteorra but I think you forgot something. That pointy
hat, that scarf, belt, necklace... those aren't awards. Those are
responsibilities. Those are there to show others that you have been recognized
as having peer like qualities or close to it. Part of those qualities is
welcoming new guests. When a current member brings a guest, everyone
(especially peers) should go out of their way to make them feel welcome. I
shouldn't have to feel awkward talking to my friends about the SCA. It's
become a sore subject.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Unfortunately, at the time I didn't know some of the local people well
enough to email or message them to come meet us. You know what though I
shouldn't have to. So I am putting this call out to everyone in the SCA.
If you see someone you have never seen before, haven't met, haven't talked to,
then go meet them. Go up to a new person and say more then Hi. You
say hi to a stranger on the street. This is potentially SCA family.
They might be new to the SCA or they might just be new to the group.
</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>If you aren't willing to take on that responsibility then why are you here?
Most people aren't going to put in the time to overcome shyness and concern
worrying about rejection to put themselves out there. I don't care.
I'll walk up to anyone and say hi. Some people you have to put it out
there and welcome. Welcoming means more then just saying Hi. I can't say
that enough. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Oh an it's not just me. I watch a group of muggles walk into KRA.
They looked confused and bewildered. I watched 3... THREE!!!! pointy hats walk
around them. I took 5 minutes to talk to them. They were a wonderful group
of people. They were interested but so many people walked by acting like
they didn't matter or weren't there that I doubt they will be back. It would be
awesome if they did.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Don't shun new people. If you want me to continue to bring new
people... knock it off.</DIV></DIV>
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