GE - Jokes

blaan at flash.net blaan at flash.net
Wed Apr 19 01:06:19 PDT 2000


I know this isn't "period" stuff but since most the people I would send
this to are on this list I figured to kill two birds with one stone as
it were.  Besides, I thought they were funny.  BTW, Rhonda and the other
Ass. of Con. people....Sean says he will pick up the canton pavillion
from my house on Thursday and have it out to the site for y'all about 4
pm or so on Friday.Vivat Sean!
Annes

> ===============================================================
>
> Great lines from job evaluations:
>
> 1. I would not allow this employee to breed.
>
> 2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but
> more definitely a won't be.
>
> 3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
> like a rat in a trap.
>
> 4. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change
> whichever foot was previously there.
>
> 5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
>
> 6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
>
> 7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails
> to achieve them.
>
> 8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
> idiot.
>
> 9. This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the
> better.
>
> 10. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
>
> 11. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't
> watching.
>
> 12. A room temperature IQ.
>
> 13. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold
> it together.
>
> 14. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
> ignoramus.
>
> 15. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
>
> 16. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
>
> 17. Bright as Alaska in December.
>
> 18. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
>
> 19. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
>
> 20. Fell out of the family tree.
>
> 21. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't
> coming.
>
> 22. Has two brains: one is lost; the other is out looking for
> it.
>
> 23. He's so dense, light bends around him.
>
> 24. If brains were taxed, she'd get a refund.
>
> 25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice
> a week.
>
> 26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'll get
> change.
>
> 27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
>
> 28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
>
> 29. One neuron short of a synapse.
>
> 30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only
> gargled.
>
> 31. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
>
> 32. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
>
> 33. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock
> bottom and has started to dig.
>
> 34. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
> curiosity.

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