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<DIV><FONT size=2>It's a little OT for the list, but not for the
season.<BR><BR>Enjoy and happy holidays.<BR><BR>Caitlin<BR><BR>Carolyn B.
Young<BR>Goodman Mfg.<BR>IT - Branch<BR>713/861.2500 ext 425<BR><BR><BR><BR>I
hate when the food police come out this time of year with their wagging fingers
and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10
pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday
eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and
cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they
say.<BR><BR>Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a
carrot stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot
was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday
eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy.
So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore,
anyway.<BR><BR>1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them.
Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas
spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door,
where they serve rum balls.<BR><BR>2. Drink as much eggnog as you
can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In
fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other
time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000
calories in every sip?? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think.<BR><BR>3. If
something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.
Repeat.<BR><BR>4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's
like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.<BR><BR>5. Do not
have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating.
The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's
food. Lots of it. Hellloo?<BR><BR>6. Under no circumstances
should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January
when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of
food and that vat of eggnog.<BR><BR>7. If you come across something really
good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of
Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you
can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair
of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them
again.<BR><BR>8. Same for pies? Apple? Pumpkin?
Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat,
have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you
get to have more than one dessert?? Labor Day?<BR><BR>9. Did someone
mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory
calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
standards.<BR><BR>10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible
when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention.<BR>Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless
January is just around the corner.<BR><BR>THINK POSITIVE! ATTITUDE IS WHAT
IT'S ALL ABOUT!<BR></DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>