GL - The MiLaird Software Laughter only.

[Theresa Wyatt]

After time fiddling with the mudane version that came across
my email and being the nuisance I am, I created a SCA Version.
Please note-None of the Glaslyn Lords fit this. Or I am praying
they don't. Your suggestions to the SCA Version will of course
be added.
Please enjoy

Joan


Your Grace,

Your vast knowledge and wisdom is sought for counsel.

Last year after the appropriate posting of the banns, I upgraded Suitor
5.0 to MiLaird Husband 1.0.

It was not long after the Warlords Tourney I began to notice changes in
MiLaird Husband 1.0, the lord steward modules have limited meself,
the Chatelaine of the Manor 1.0  to the Clothier, Dyer, Goldsmith
and Furrier Merchant applications.
All of this had worked flawlessly under Suitor 5.0.
No mention of this was made in my marriage portion or morning gift.

I recently be notified that Laird Husband 1.0 has uninstalled several
valuable programs, in particular Court Dancing 8.2, Poetry Reading 2.5,
HolyLand
Crusade for Two 3.9,  Brushing Lady Hair 1.0 and Hand Kissing 2.0.

The Laird Husband 1.0 has installed some new very undesirable programs
that were not mention in my bride price, such as Daily Fighter Pratice
4.0,   Wash Me Boots 3.2,  Heathen Friends in Solar Tormenting the Maids
1.0,
The Stag-Boar-Eel is not cooked yet/Where's Me Meal 5.5,
Leave the Castle without a Kiss 5.8,    Archery Pratice in the Main Hall
2.0
No Attendance in the Courtyard Garden 4.5  and Falling Asleep in the
Bedcloset 5.0.

I have also discovered that Polite Conversation 8.0 no longer runs,
something call Grunting Viruses as taken its place
and Castle-Stable-Bailey Cleaning 2.6 crashes the system.
I have tried running the Nag 5.3 Virus program to fix it, nothing seems
to work.

I have enlisted the aid of Nuns in Cloister 1. 5  for assistance, but
nothing
seems help.

Please Your Grace, I call to your assistance in this grave manner.

Reply to Chatelaine in the Manor,

My Most Gracious Lady,

This is a common problem in our kingdom, caused by a primary
misconception.

First get rid of the Nuns in the Cloister 1.5, as it will not
run with MiLaird Husband 1.0. Conflict in software applications.

Often with the negotiations in martial contracts between the nobles of
this
land that one simply upgrade without really understanding that Suitor
5.0
is a Court Entertainment package.

MiLaird Husband 1.0 is a operating system designed to run as few
applications
as possible and certainly not in any kind of multitasking role.
You will find that you are unable to uninstall, delete or purge MiLaird
Husband 1.0
and re-install Suitor 5.0 because hidden file system simply cause Suitor
5.0 to crash
without warning. After review of the binary in your morning gift and
marriage portion
we have discover the section regarding General Partnerships Faults.
Please review
this.
This General Partnership Faults( GPF's) is a feature of MiLaird Husband
1.0
and can be activate by the following,
enter the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. At times this conjunction,

Tears 6.2,  I Thought you loved me lands too 2.3.
Mi Laird Husband 1.0 should then automatically applications
I Beg Pardon, Apologize 12.3, Flowers 7.8 and Wipe Tears From Lady's
Eyes 6.8.

Excessive use of this command line, however can cause serious GPF's and
you will have to enter the command
c:/ MiLaird, I Beg thee Forgiveness 3.0 or
I Apologize my lord while Unlacing Kirtle option available.

Excessive use of MiLaird,I beg thee forgiveness can
also cause MiLaird 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence in the Main Hall 2.5
(note this does not happen with Unlacing Kirtle Option, programer is
reviewing)
in some cases, default into Grumpy in Ladies Solar 5.6 and in extreme
cases
to revert to GoneUpToTheTavern 6.1 and Ale/Mead 7.8.

Ale/Mead 7.8 is very nasty program that causes MiLaird Husband1.0
to create FatBelly files,Snoring Loudly files and Falling Down the
Castle
Stairs, Destorying MiLady and Chatelaine's Tapestries Files along the
way.
Excessive use of Ale/Mead 7.8 may cause MiLaird Husband 1.0 to
revert to Religious Ecstasy in Foreign Lands or How Did MiLaird Go Nuts.

My Gracious Lady, you are advised Not under any circumstances not
install
MiLady Mother in Law 1.0 or MiLady's Mother 1.0, as these applications
will cause an selective shutdown of MiLaird Husband 1.0.

Finally do remember  that while MiLaird Husband is a great program,
it does have limited memory, cannot learn applications quickly and will
cause errors.
We would suggest My Lady that you consider using a portion of your
morning
gift to purchase additional software to improve MiLaird Husband's
performance,
such as Hot Roasted Boar with sidedish of Stag 5.3, Rub MiLaird'sHead
2.5,
Trashy Chemise and Harem Clothing 3.0 while using Run Around the Oak
Trestle File
removing such and the very latest Patience 10.1
We hope this helps Castle in Shire run well.

In Service



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