[Glaslyn] [Fwd: [Amazons] FW: [Bonwicke] Why you never bring a bard to war.]

[Chiara Francesca]

Heh ......

------------------------- Original Message -------------------------
Subject: [Amazons] FW: [Bonwicke] Why you never bring a bard to war.
From:    "kyleena of the rom" <kyleena_of_the_rom at hotmail.com>
Date:    Wed, September 6, 2006 12:19 pm
To:      amazons at ansteorra.org
         amazons at lists.ansteorra.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings to the list from Kyleena,

Is this the thorny poem u were looking for? (see below)


--- Kenneth Sliviak <ksliviak at yahoo.com> wrote:

 > I Takayama Harukaze no Tosa send you greetings and
 > for those of you who asked for this here it is.  If
 > you were not at Gothic Wars this past weekend, or
 > missed court on Sunday and have no clue what this is
 > about then ask someone who was there to explain it
 > to you.
 >
 >   The Epic of the Cactus and the King
 >   Also known as
 >   The "Royal Pain" of Melee and Taking a Bard to war
 >
 >
 >   Written as the sun rose the dawn following the
 > Heavy Melee
 >   during the Gothic Wars, which did occur during the
 > reign of their Majesties
 >   King Aaron MacGregor and Queen Britta MacGregor
 >   Rulers of the Stellar Kingdom of Ansteorra
 >   by the Ronin sohei Takayama Harukaze no Tosa
 >   who currently holds the honorary title of Bard of
 > Mendersham
 >   in honor of the glorious exploits of our valiant,
 > and most merciful King on the field of battle
 >   during the aforementioned melee and war.
 >
 >   This same piece was also performed during the
 > closing court of the aforementioned war,
 >   by the composing bard at the request of his Royal
 > Majesty King Aaron MacGregor.
 >
 >   The air was still that autumn day
 >   as the widow's army made its way
 >   across the fields of Ansteorra.
 >
 >   Master Airaklee looked angrily
 >   upon the sight before him.
 >   How dare this widow come to fight,
 >   when all he wanted was to see his wife.
 >
 >   Two armies now formed in rows
 >   as archers quickly nocked their bows.
 >   A battle was looming, both sides ready.
 >
 >   The order was given for the battle to begin,
 >   both sides confident that they would win,
 >   and let battle prove their cause.
 >
 >   Now scores of arrows filled the air,
 >   but heavy fighters do not care
 >   about that rain of foam tipped death
 >   or the sting of rattan upon their heads.
 >
 >   Like two angry waves the shield walls collide
 >   and quickly many heavies died.
 >   One side gave way as they sometimes do
 >   as fighters hollered, "I'm dead don't hit me you
 > fool!"
 >
 >   NOW ENTER OUR HERO!  (Random cheers from the
 > populace.)
 >
 >   The widow's army, a massive hoard
 >   armed with spears and rattan swords
 >   made their way through the gap
 >   and killed some archers with just a tap.
 >
 >   Our Hero gripped his sword and shield.
 >   He was the KING and WOULD NOT YIELD!
 >   Aaron MacGregor was his name
 >   and soon this battle would win him fame,
 >   but maybe not the kind he wanted.  (Funny looks
 > and snickers from the Bard.)
 >
 >   King Aaron was young, nimble, and quick
 >   and he wielded a really nasty stick.
 >   He had a plan to win the day
 >   and so he boldly made his way towards his destiny.
 >
 >   King Aaron fought, ran, and slowly gave ground
 >   as one by one he cut his foes down.
 >   But there was one foe that he did not see
 >   and soon it would cause him much agony.
 >
 >   No one knows how it started, but this much is
 > known.
 >   The air was filled with a painful groan.
 >   King Aaron cried out in agony,
 >   "What the heck just happened to me?
 >   What kind of knight would have the gall
 >   to strike the king once he did fall?
 >   What kind of fool would hit me now
 >   that I am here upon the ground?"
 >
 >   Chirurgeons came from all around
 >   when they heard the call of fighter down.
 >   The assassins mark was easy to find.
 >   It was king's armor of cactus hide.
 >
 >   Yes, a prickly pear upon the field
 >   decided it's thorny pads it would wield.
 >   Oh what a humiliating  form of attack
 >   to have a cactus stuck in your back!
 >
 >   At a call for help four fighters came
 >   hoping they would spare their king pain
 >   as one by one each thorn they plucked,
 >   but some did break and now their stuck.
 >
 >   So now you know what happened that fateful day
 >   when our noble king on his stomach lay
 >   with his back bristled like a porcupine
 >   but being our king he did not whine.
 >
 >   Yet in the end King Aaron walked off the field
 >   still holding his trusty sword and shield,
 >   but in everyone's mind their was no doubt
 >   that it was the cactus that won this bout!

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