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[Padraig Ruad O'Maolagain]

At Loch Ruadh’s Populace Meeting last night, I received a mysterious envelope that the Perrotti’s counterman told me had been given to him earlier by a “man in black”.  Fearing the worst, I carefully opened it and found the following missive (I have copied the original message verbatim):

Ve have UUUR helm, SCHIELD , and most expertly crafted sword.  Ve know Zay are UUURS and VE know UUU Kneeeed Zem Back.

          *****we apologize, those responsible for the silly spelling have been sacked.

If you want to see them back, UUU mussssst meeeeet DIS LISSSSSST of D-MANZ

          *****Once again, we apologize those responsible for sacking the ones responsible for the silly spelling have themselves been sacked.

You Must:

Provide 200 bucks
Perform a bardic piece in the Grand Hoo-Hah’s court
Provide 6 bottles of home-brewed Merlot
Perform a Squirrel Dance
Provide the equivalent of the taste of Griffon’s Gold
Provide a nice shrubbery “not too tall! and not too expensive!”
Not beat the ransomers senseless
Attend Baroness Dana to her every want and need at Elfsea Springfaire
Kill as many Trimarians as conceivably possible
Chop down the largest tree in the forest with a herring
Promise to NEVER abandon you arms and armor again without just cause


Details of the trade off can be discussed with out liason in Loch Ruadh, who will find you



The Ransom Consortium



All those fighters present at Populace were sure that the Ransom Note could not be directed toward them, as we were all sure we had our armor.  I adjourned the meeting temporarily and told every fighter present that they should check their armor immediately if they had it with them, and so prove it to the Populace at large.   Lo and behold, it was soon discovered that Lord Robert of Slugglen was without his “helm, SCHIELD, and most expertly crafted sword”, having left them at Arthurian practice on Sunday.  By the end of the evening, the liaison had not yet contacted Sluggy, so he was, at that time, still in suspense and agonizing over how to fulfill the ransom demands.

I, on the other hand, after having been inspired by Timothy of Glastonbury, spent the evening with evil thoughts churning around a new bardic piece featuring Sluggy as the subject.  I hope to have it ready to perform by the War.

Watch closely for further developments.

Padraig


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Nunc Est Bibendum
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