[Loch-ruadh] FW: Drunk Signs

Jane Sitton jane.sitton at radioshack.com
Wed Sep 26 08:21:16 PDT 2001


Thought this might help some of you....
Madelina

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

Job interferes with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

Sincerely believes alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case--coincidence?  I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth...now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fell off the floor.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger--screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin:  Hi, my name is...uh...

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fall
asleep clothed...hmm...

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

You wake up screaming TORO! TORO! TORO! in the middle of the night.



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