[Loch-Ruadh] Fw: [SCA_MoAS] A&S report (humor) -long

[STEVE K ROURKE]

Remember the report that I had posted last week?, well this is the previous
one.

Arts & Sciences Report
April 1, AS XXXIV

Policy Decisions:
I have declared myself Ivy Queen of Arts.

Action Items:
I am requesting sufficient additional funds for the
Ivy Coronet and Imperial Robes.

Kingdom Items:
Aethelmearc:
Aethelmearc has been reprimanded for spelling, and is
to be known as Ethel Mark from now on.

Ansteorra:
The new cattle rustlin' competitions are popular, but
it is hard to determine who is winning.

An Tir:
Separate peerage orders will be created for each
specific art form.

Artemisia:
Contrary to rumor, the incipient Cooking Guild will
not meet at the Equestrian Academy. Those French
recipes are too difficult - for now.

Atenveldt:
Atenveldt is hosting the tournament to determine the
Emperor of the Holy Aten Empire, encompassing all the
Kingdoms once part of Atenveldt. I have been requested
to run the Arts point. All the Board members will be
needed as judges. Please let me know which category
you prefer to judge: Embroidery, Brewing, or
Everything Else.

Atlantia:
The populace has overthrown the Crown and staged a
coup at the US Naval Station oustide Hampton Roads.
Atlantia will return to its true home and progenitors,
the city and population of Atlantis. The submarines
will not be returned.

Caid:
All of Caid's guilds have announced that they are
Autonomous Collectives, and have cut off diplomatic
ties with the Kingdom of Caid. They will, however,
negotiate to fight as a Principal Autonomous
Collective at Estrella War.

Calontir:
The Calontiri Book of Songs and Ceremonies will be
published in all thirty six volumes.

Drachenwald:
It appears that the article in the Onion was correct,
and Drachenwald has indeed taken over the government
of the fomer Soviet Union. Drachenwald reports
excellent brewing activity, but the war units refuse
to practice, and are instead retreating and burning
the fields behind them.

Ealdormere:
Ealdormere has moved.

East:
Congratulations to the newest Laurel for her research
into "hanging out" in period.

Meridies:
A "three/fifths compromise" has been adopted for
Cavalier/Post 1600 entries in inter-Kingdom
competitions. Cavalier items will automatically
receive 3/5 the point value which would have been
given to an Elizabethan article.

Middle:
This office will no longer be paying bounty for the
beating of newbies in polyester garb, sorry.

Outlands:
The Persona Story competition went well, although the
judges did have to be hospitalized.

Trimaris:
It has been determined that Science Fiction Convention
attendance will count toward Universitas credit.
Contact the Star Fleet Admiral Deputy of Cons for more
information.

West
Mistress Eilis' excellent plan of determinate drum
marshalling has successfully been expanded to cover
determinate garb marshalling at events.


With tongue firmly in cheek,


Mistress Rowena of Avalon
Ivy Queen of Arts


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