[Loch-Ruadh] OT:Fwd: FW:God's voice mail

[Weylyn and Brenna MacAllister]

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of
our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to
install voice mail?  Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling heaven.

  For English press 1

  For Spanish press 2

  For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

  Press 1 for request

  Press 2 for thanksgiving

  Press 3 for complaints

  Press 4 for all others


I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners  right
now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the
order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

  God, press 1

  Jesus, press 2

  Holy spirit, press 3

  To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter
his social security # followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code
666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets,
please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please
hang up and call again tomorrow.


  The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please
contact your local pastor.

   Thank you and have a heavenly day.


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