[Loch-Ruadh] Thank You Very Much

[erinn holloway]

V. funny

--- DONALD H MCKINNON <gruffydd_vawr at sbcglobal.net>
wrote:

>   -----Original Message-----
> From: Slack, Lakita A. 
> Sent: Friday, December 09, 2005 3:19 PM
> To: Wade, Virgie V.; McKinnon, Don; McCalib, April;
> Aungie (E-mail)
> Subject: Thank You
> 
> 
>                  
> 
>                        My dear Friends,    
>                         I want to wish each of you a
> very MERRY
> CHRISTMAS 
> 
>                         and a wonderful new  year to
> come!  
> 
>                         You are all special to me
> and I appreciate and
> love each
>                         and everyone of you!!!
>                         But especially, my heartfelt
> thanks goes out to
> all those who
>                         have taken their  time and
> trouble to send me
> "forwards" over the past 12 months.
>                         Thank you for making me feel
> safe, secure,
> blessed, and wealthy.
>                        
>                         Extra thanks to whoever sent
> me the one about
> rat crap in the
>                         glue on envelopes cause I
> now have to go get a
> wet towel every time I need
>                         to seal an envelope.
>                             
>                         Also, I scrub the top of
> every can I open for
> the same reason.
>                             
>                         Because of your concern I no
> longer drink Coca
> Cola because it
>                         can remove toilet stains.
>                             
>                         I no longer drink Pepsi or
> Dr Pepper since the
> people who make
>                         these products are atheists
> who refuse to put
> "Under God" on their cans. 
> 
>                         
>                         I no longer use Saran wrap
> in the microwave
> because it causes
>                         cancer.
>                             
>                         I no longer check the coin
> return on pay phones
> because I could
>                         be pricked with a needle
> infected with AIDS.
>                             
>                         I no longer use deodorant!
> Since it causes
> cancer, even though
>                         I smell like a water buffalo
> on a hot day.
>                        
>                         I no longer go to shopping
> malls because someone
> might drug me
>                         with a perfume sample and
> rob me.
>                             
>                         I no longer receive packages
> from nor send
> packages by UPS or
>                         FedEx since they are
> actually Al Qaeda in
> disguise.
>                             
>                         I no longer answer the phone
> because someone
> will ask me to
>                         dial a number for which I
> will get a phone bill
> with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
>                         Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
>                             
>                         I no longer eat KFC because
> their "chickens" are
> actually
>                         horrible mutant freaks with
> no eyes or feathers.
> 
>                             
>                         I no longer have any
> sneakers -- but that will
> change once I
>                         receive my free replacement
> pair from Nike.
>                        
>                         I no longer have to buy
> expensive cookies from
> Neiman Marcus
>                         since I now have their
> recipe.
>                                  
>                         I no longer worry about my
> soul because at last
> count I have
>                         363,214 angels looking out
> for me. 
> 
>                         
>                         Thanks to you, I have
> learned that God only
> answers my prayers
>                         if I forward an e-mail to
> seven of my friends
> and make a wish within five
>                         minutes. 
> 
>                         
>                         I no longer have any savings
> because I gave it
> to a sick girl
>                         who is about to die in the
> hospital (for the
> 1,387,258th time).      
> 
>                         
>                         I no longer have any money
> at all - but that
> will change once I
>                         receive the $15,000 that
> Microsoft and AOL are
> sending me for
>                         participating in their
> special email program.
>                                  
>                         Yes, I want to thank you so
> much for looking out
> for me that I
>                         will now return the favor!
>                             
>                         If you don't send this
> e-mail to at least
> 144,000 people in the
>                         next 7 minutes, a large
> pigeon with a wicked
> case of diarrhea will
>                         land on your head at 5:00 PM
> (CDT) this
> afternoon. I know this will occur 
>                         because it actually happened
> to a friend of my
> next door
>                         neighbor's
> ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
> cousin's beautician.
> 
> 
> > _______________________________________________
> Loch-Ruadh mailing list
> Loch-Ruadh at ansteorra.org
> http://www.ansteorra.org/mailman/listinfo/loch-ruadh
> 


Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
-- H. Jackson Brown

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