[Loch-Ruadh] WAY OT - joke - Urges

[erinn holloway]

shared that w/ hubby. He thought that was the funniest
thing ever!

--- pcrandal at sbcglobal.net wrote:

>   I never have quite figured out why the urges of
> men and women differ so much. And I never have
> figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I
> never figured out why men think with their head and
> women think with their heart. And I never yet have
> figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown
> into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I
> do." 
>   One evening last week, my wife and I were getting
> into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and
> she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just
> want you to hold me." 
>   I said, "WHAT???" 
>   So she says the words that I and every husband on
> the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in
> tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm
> thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally
> realize that nothing was going to happen that night,
> so I went to sleep. 
>   The very next day, we went shopping at a big,
> unnamed department store. I walked around with her
> while she tried on three different, very expensive
> outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so
> I told her to take all three of them. She then tells
> me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a
> pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the
> jewelry department where she gets a pair of diamond
> earrings. 
>   Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have
> thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,
> but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing
> me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she
> does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a
> loop when I told her that it was OK. 
>   She was excited from all of this, and you should
> have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go
> to the cash register." 
>   I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
> "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff
> now." You should have seen her face. It went
> completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I
> just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And
> just when she had this look like she was going to
> kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my
> financial needs as a man." I figure that I won't be
> having sex again until some time after the spring of
> 2008. 
> 
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> 


Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
-- H. Jackson Brown

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