[Loch-Ruadh] Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
PBW
PBW_RN at ev1.net
Mon May 16 12:05:13 PDT 2005
another late entry but funny anyway...
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/lunatics/
Magdalea/Pook
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
You are Gaius Caesar Germanicus - better known as Caligula!
Third Emperor of Rome and ruler of one of the most powerful empires of all
time, your common name means "little boots". Although you only reigned for
four years, brief even by Roman standards, you still managed to garner a
reputation as a cruel, extravagant and downright insane despot. Your father
died in suspicious circumstances, you were not the intended heir, and one of
your first acts as Emperor was to force the suicide of your father-in-law.
Your sister Drusilla died that same year; faced with allegations that your
relationship with her had been incestuous, you responded, bafflingly, by
declaring her a god.
You revived a number of unpopular traditions, including auctions of
properties left over from public shows. When a senator fell asleep at one
such auction, you took each of his nods as bids, selling him 13 gladiators
for a vast sum. You attempted to have your horse, Incitatus, made into a
consul and hence one of the most powerful figures in Rome. It was granted a
marble stable with jewels and a staff of servants. At one point you forced
your comrade Macro to kill himself - in much the same vein as your
father-in-law - accusing him of being his wife's pimp. You, of course, were
having an affair with said wife at the time.
Things went from bad to worse. When supplies of condemned men ran short in
the circus, you had innocent spectators dragged into the arena with the
lions to fill their place. You claimed mastery of the sea by walking across
a three-mile bridge of boats in the Bay of Naples; kissed the necks of your
lovers, whispering sweet nothings like "This lovely neck will be chopped as
soon as I say so,"; dallied with your sister's lover and made her pull her
unborn child out of her womb prematurely. Towards the end of your reign, you
had a golden statue of yourself made and dressed each day in the same
clothes you yourself wore. When you eventually died, the terrified people of
Rome refused to believe that such a cruel reign could ever end, and believed
you to be alive for years afterwards.
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