[Loch-Ruadh] Telling someone that what they are doing is not period

Chris Harper bice.pietro at charter.net
Wed Sep 13 23:50:13 PDT 2006

Very well spoken, Lord Terrence.  Vivat!


At 09:25 PM 9/13/2006 -0700, you wrote:
>Terrence, an armiger of no great rank does send greetings to her Grace 
>Duchess Willow,
>   Your Grace can add myself to her estimation of those she has helped 
> with her guidance and advice in the past and I found her Graces' approach 
> both appropriate and well placed in every case.
>   Not so long past having been a beginner myself, I feel that I might 
> have somewhat to add to the discussion.
>   In the first place, I have been told by management, human resources 
> personnel, teachers, and others of like experience that criticism weighs 
> a good deal heavier on the ear than does compliment.  For that reason it 
> is a common recommendation to first give two compliments before giving 
> one criticism.  This keeps a person from having their self-image totally 
> deflated and lets them know they are at least doing something right.
>   Also, if approaching a new person, it might help if the person knows 
> who you are and what qualifications you have, so if you have not met 
> them, please introduce yourself and tell them what kind of things you 
> have done.  I think that some people in the society may forget that new 
> people may not know which coronet is which or what award is what and may 
> not know that a particular piece of advice is coming from someone who has 
> studied the subject.
>   Lastly, make sure the person knows you are not trying to ostracize 
> them, instead you are trying to be their friend.  Take them by the 
> arm.  Tell them how happy you are to have them here and 
> participating.  Tell them how much you enjoy working to recreate period 
> and that you love seeing them doing the same.
>   One of the things that constantly amazes me is how many extremely 
> intelligent and talented people we have in this society.  In any regular 
> group of people these people have been the "go to" people, the people who 
> are looked up to, the people with the know-how and ability.  In the 
> society with so many intelligent people, the group dynamics change and 
> the way people deal with each other has to change by huge amounts or 
> feelings get hurt.  I, for one, am glad to be able to associate with such 
> people.
>   Yours,
>   Terrence adte Syke

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