[Loch-Ruadh] A look at Chinese etiquette

[R Baker]

Excellent.
Well written.


> ----- Original Message -----
> From: angelinblackink <angelinblackink at yahoo.com>
> To: steppes at lists.ansteorra.org, "elfsea list" <Elfsea at ansteorra.org>, "loch ruadh list" <loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>
> Subject: [Loch-Ruadh] A look at Chinese etiquette
> Date: Sun, 1 Jul 2007 18:26:12 -0700 (PDT)
> 
> 
>    Greetings!
> 
>     I have decided that, in attempting a better level of 
> understanding between western and Chinese persona, to post some 
> info here on Chinese etiquette as I know it.  I'm no expert but 
> these are a few traditions of etiquette that might be useful to 
> know.  I hope that, after this, my persona won't seem so outlandish 
> and rude.
> 
>    Xie xie,
>    Xue Xianxian
> 
> 
> 
>    Etiquette:
> China has often been referred to as the Nation of Etiquette. 
> According to many westerners, however, Chinese people often act in 
> what appears to be a discourteous manner. The reason for this 
> anomaly lies in the different cultural and historical views of 
> social decorum. In order to avoid unnecessary mistakes and 
> embarrassment during communications, a better understanding of 
> Chinese etiquette is essential.
> 
>    Key concepts in understanding Chinese culture:
>    Guanxi - Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental 
> glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi, 
> relationships between people.
> 
>    Mianxi - Face - Losing face, saving face and giving face is very 
> important and should be taken into consideration at all times.
> 
> Mianzi, is a reflection of a person's level of status in the eyes 
> of his or her peers. Having 'face' means you are viewed by your 
> peers, superiors, and subordinates as one in harmony with the 
> prevailing disposition of society. It is a subtlety that is not 
> openly discussed in Chinese society, but exists as a conversational 
> skill nonetheless. As a foreigner, it is not necessary to take 
> Mianzi too seriously when engaged in discussions that may be 
> confusing. Mianzi can best be understood as the avoidance of 
> embarrassment in front of others. Otherwise, it can be considered 
> to be impolite.
> 
>    Li - Originally li meant to sacrifice, but today it is 
> translated as the art of being polite and courteous. Proper 
> etiquette preserves harmony and face.
> 
>    Keqi - Ke means guest and qi means behavior. It not only means 
> considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents 
> humbleness and modesty.
> 
>    Getting to Know Each Other
> 
>     The Chinese usually do not like to deal with strangers, and 
> will make frequent use of go-betweens. Whenever possible, try to 
> use established relationships, or an intermediary known by both 
> sides, to make the first contact
>     Chinese prefer to be formally introduced to someone new. This 
> applies to both Chinese and foreigners.
>    Social distance, Touching & Gestures
> 
>     Every culture defines proper distance. Westerners, particularly 
> Americans, find that the Chinese comfort zone regarding distance is 
> a bit to close for their comfort.
>     Instinctively Westerners may back up when others invade their 
> space. Do not be surprised to find that the Chinese will simply 
> step closer.
>     The Chinese do not like to be touched, particularly by 
> strangers. Do not hug, back slap or put an arm around someone's 
> shoulder.
>     Do not be offended if you are pushed and shoved in a line. The 
> Chinese do not practice the art of lining up and courtesy to 
> strangers in public places is not required.
>     People of the same sex may walk hand-in-hand as a gesture of 
> friendship in China.
>     Western gestures that are taboo in China include:
>        Pointing the index finger--use the open hand instead.
>        Using the index finger to call someone-use the hand with 
> fingers motioning downward as in waving.
>        Finger snapping
>        Showing the soles of shoes.
>        Whistling is considered rude.
> 
>     Chinese customs that are annoying to Westerners:
>        Belching or spitting on the street
>        Lack of consideration when smoking and failure to ask 
> permission to smoke
>        Slurping food
>        Talking while eating
> 
>    Gift Giving:
> 'Courtesy demands reciprocity', goes an old Chinese saying, and the 
> advice is an indispensable part of social interactions. It is 
> important to both private and business relationships. The best 
> choice for the initial meeting is a gift that expresses some unique 
> aspect of your country. The gift packaging should be red or any 
> other festive color. White and black are ominous and should be 
> avoided. It is not proper, and is even considered to be 
> unfortunate, to take a clock as a gift or to choose one having to 
> do with the number four, which sounds like death in Chinese. Even 
> though even numbers are considered as good luck, the number four is 
> an exception. Do not brag about your gift in front of the 
> recipient, and you should use both hands when presenting it. 
> Generally, the recipient may graciously refuse the present when 
> first offered. In this case, you should correctly assess the 
> situation and present it once again. If the recipient did not open 
> your gift, it does not mean that
>   he or she is not interested in it. It is polite to open it after you leave.
> 
>    Once upon a time, a man went on a long tour to visit his friend 
> with a swan as a gift. But it escaped from the cage on the way and 
> in his effort to catch it, he got hold of nothing but a feather. 
> Instead of returning home, he continued his journey with the swan 
> feather. When his friend received this unexpected gift, he was 
> deeply moved by the story as well as the sincerity. And the saying 
> 'the gift is nothing much, but it's the thought that counts.' was 
> spread far and wide.
> 
>    Contrary to Westerners, odd numbers are thought to be 
> unfortunate. So wedding gifts and birthday gifts for the aged are 
> always sent in pairs for the old saying goes that blessings come in 
> pairs. Though four is an even number, it reads like death in 
> Chinese thus is avoided. So is pear for being a homophone of 
> separation. And a gift of clock sounds like attending other's 
> funeral so it is a taboo, too. As connected with death and sorrow, 
> black and white are also the last in the choice. Gift giving is 
> unsuitable in public except for some souvenirs. Your good 
> intentions or gratitude should be given priority to but not the 
> value of the gifts. Otherwise the receiver may mistake it for a 
> bribe
> 
>    Family Visiting:
> In China, a gift is also necessary when visiting a family. But it 
> is not as complex as the above situation. Usually, flowers, common 
> fruits and food are okay. As for alcohol, you had better check 
> whether the person enjoys it or if they have such a hobby. During 
> lunch time, hosts will ask you to have more food or alcohol. If you 
> do not want to disappoint them, you can have a little more 
> according to your situation. If you are truly full, you had better 
> refuse directly, otherwise, the hospitable hosts will continue to 
> refill your bowl.
> 
> 
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