[Loch-Ruadh] A look at Chinese etiquette
R Baker
palehorse at mail.com
Sun Jul 1 18:27:37 PDT 2007
Excellent.
Well written.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: angelinblackink <angelinblackink at yahoo.com>
> To: steppes at lists.ansteorra.org, "elfsea list" <Elfsea at ansteorra.org>, "loch ruadh list" <loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>
> Subject: [Loch-Ruadh] A look at Chinese etiquette
> Date: Sun, 1 Jul 2007 18:26:12 -0700 (PDT)
>
>
> Greetings!
>
> I have decided that, in attempting a better level of
> understanding between western and Chinese persona, to post some
> info here on Chinese etiquette as I know it. I'm no expert but
> these are a few traditions of etiquette that might be useful to
> know. I hope that, after this, my persona won't seem so outlandish
> and rude.
>
> Xie xie,
> Xue Xianxian
>
>
>
> Etiquette:
> China has often been referred to as the Nation of Etiquette.
> According to many westerners, however, Chinese people often act in
> what appears to be a discourteous manner. The reason for this
> anomaly lies in the different cultural and historical views of
> social decorum. In order to avoid unnecessary mistakes and
> embarrassment during communications, a better understanding of
> Chinese etiquette is essential.
>
> Key concepts in understanding Chinese culture:
> Guanxi - Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental
> glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi,
> relationships between people.
>
> Mianxi - Face - Losing face, saving face and giving face is very
> important and should be taken into consideration at all times.
>
> Mianzi, is a reflection of a person's level of status in the eyes
> of his or her peers. Having 'face' means you are viewed by your
> peers, superiors, and subordinates as one in harmony with the
> prevailing disposition of society. It is a subtlety that is not
> openly discussed in Chinese society, but exists as a conversational
> skill nonetheless. As a foreigner, it is not necessary to take
> Mianzi too seriously when engaged in discussions that may be
> confusing. Mianzi can best be understood as the avoidance of
> embarrassment in front of others. Otherwise, it can be considered
> to be impolite.
>
> Li - Originally li meant to sacrifice, but today it is
> translated as the art of being polite and courteous. Proper
> etiquette preserves harmony and face.
>
> Keqi - Ke means guest and qi means behavior. It not only means
> considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents
> humbleness and modesty.
>
> Getting to Know Each Other
>
> The Chinese usually do not like to deal with strangers, and
> will make frequent use of go-betweens. Whenever possible, try to
> use established relationships, or an intermediary known by both
> sides, to make the first contact
> Chinese prefer to be formally introduced to someone new. This
> applies to both Chinese and foreigners.
> Social distance, Touching & Gestures
>
> Every culture defines proper distance. Westerners, particularly
> Americans, find that the Chinese comfort zone regarding distance is
> a bit to close for their comfort.
> Instinctively Westerners may back up when others invade their
> space. Do not be surprised to find that the Chinese will simply
> step closer.
> The Chinese do not like to be touched, particularly by
> strangers. Do not hug, back slap or put an arm around someone's
> shoulder.
> Do not be offended if you are pushed and shoved in a line. The
> Chinese do not practice the art of lining up and courtesy to
> strangers in public places is not required.
> People of the same sex may walk hand-in-hand as a gesture of
> friendship in China.
> Western gestures that are taboo in China include:
> Pointing the index finger--use the open hand instead.
> Using the index finger to call someone-use the hand with
> fingers motioning downward as in waving.
> Finger snapping
> Showing the soles of shoes.
> Whistling is considered rude.
>
> Chinese customs that are annoying to Westerners:
> Belching or spitting on the street
> Lack of consideration when smoking and failure to ask
> permission to smoke
> Slurping food
> Talking while eating
>
> Gift Giving:
> 'Courtesy demands reciprocity', goes an old Chinese saying, and the
> advice is an indispensable part of social interactions. It is
> important to both private and business relationships. The best
> choice for the initial meeting is a gift that expresses some unique
> aspect of your country. The gift packaging should be red or any
> other festive color. White and black are ominous and should be
> avoided. It is not proper, and is even considered to be
> unfortunate, to take a clock as a gift or to choose one having to
> do with the number four, which sounds like death in Chinese. Even
> though even numbers are considered as good luck, the number four is
> an exception. Do not brag about your gift in front of the
> recipient, and you should use both hands when presenting it.
> Generally, the recipient may graciously refuse the present when
> first offered. In this case, you should correctly assess the
> situation and present it once again. If the recipient did not open
> your gift, it does not mean that
> he or she is not interested in it. It is polite to open it after you leave.
>
> Once upon a time, a man went on a long tour to visit his friend
> with a swan as a gift. But it escaped from the cage on the way and
> in his effort to catch it, he got hold of nothing but a feather.
> Instead of returning home, he continued his journey with the swan
> feather. When his friend received this unexpected gift, he was
> deeply moved by the story as well as the sincerity. And the saying
> 'the gift is nothing much, but it's the thought that counts.' was
> spread far and wide.
>
> Contrary to Westerners, odd numbers are thought to be
> unfortunate. So wedding gifts and birthday gifts for the aged are
> always sent in pairs for the old saying goes that blessings come in
> pairs. Though four is an even number, it reads like death in
> Chinese thus is avoided. So is pear for being a homophone of
> separation. And a gift of clock sounds like attending other's
> funeral so it is a taboo, too. As connected with death and sorrow,
> black and white are also the last in the choice. Gift giving is
> unsuitable in public except for some souvenirs. Your good
> intentions or gratitude should be given priority to but not the
> value of the gifts. Otherwise the receiver may mistake it for a
> bribe
>
> Family Visiting:
> In China, a gift is also necessary when visiting a family. But it
> is not as complex as the above situation. Usually, flowers, common
> fruits and food are okay. As for alcohol, you had better check
> whether the person enjoys it or if they have such a hobby. During
> lunch time, hosts will ask you to have more food or alcohol. If you
> do not want to disappoint them, you can have a little more
> according to your situation. If you are truly full, you had better
> refuse directly, otherwise, the hospitable hosts will continue to
> refill your bowl.
>
>
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