<DIV id=RTEContent> <DIV class=OutlookMessageHeader dir=ltr align=left><FONT face=Tahoma size=2>-----Original Message-----<BR><B>From:</B> Slack, Lakita A. <BR><B>Sent:</B> Friday, December 09, 2005 3:19 PM<BR><B>To:</B> Wade, Virgie V.; McKinnon, Don; McCalib, April; Aungie (E-mail)<BR><B>Subject:</B> Thank You<BR><BR></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"> <BR><BR> My dear Friends, <BR> I want to wish each of you a very MERRY<BR>CHRISTMAS <BR><BR>
and a wonderful new year to come! <BR><BR> You are all special to me and I appreciate and<BR>love each<BR> and everyone of you!!!<BR> But especially, my heartfelt thanks goes out to<BR>all those who<BR> have taken their time and trouble to send me<BR>"forwards" over the past 12 months.<BR>
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,<BR>blessed, and wealthy.<BR> <BR> Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about<BR>rat crap in the<BR> glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a<BR>wet towel every time I need<BR> to seal an envelope.<BR> <BR>
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for<BR>the same reason.<BR> <BR> Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca<BR>Cola because it<BR> can remove toilet stains.<BR> <BR> I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since
the<BR>people who make<BR> these products are atheists who refuse to put<BR>"Under God" on their cans. <BR><BR> <BR> I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave<BR>because it causes<BR> cancer.<BR> <BR>
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones<BR>because I could<BR> be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.<BR> <BR> <FONT color=red><SPAN style="COLOR: red">I no longer use deodorant! Since it causes<BR>cancer, even though<BR> I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day</SPAN></FONT>.<BR>
<BR> I no longer go to shopping malls because someone<BR>might drug me<BR> with a perfume sample and rob me.<BR> <BR> I no longer receive packages from nor send<BR>packages by UPS or<BR> FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in<BR>disguise.<BR>
<BR><FONT color=red><SPAN style="COLOR: red"> I no longer answer the phone because someone<BR>will ask me to<BR> dial a number for which I will get a phone bill<BR>with calls to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on">Jamaica</st1:country-region>, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Uganda</st1:country-region></st1:place>,<BR> <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region>, and <st1:place
w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Uzbekistan</st1:country-region></st1:place>.<BR></SPAN></FONT> <BR><FONT color=red><SPAN style="COLOR: red"> I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are<BR>actually<BR> horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers</SPAN></FONT>.<BR><BR> <BR> I no longer have
any sneakers -- but that will<BR>change once I<BR> receive my free replacement pair from Nike.<BR> <BR><FONT color=red><SPAN style="COLOR: red"> I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from<BR>Neiman Marcus<BR> since I now have their recipe.<BR></SPAN></FONT> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT color=red
size=4><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red"> I no longer worry about my soul because at last<BR>count I have<BR> 363,214 angels looking out for me. <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><BR> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT color=red size=4><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red"> Thanks to you, I have learned that God only<BR>answers my prayers<BR>
if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends<BR>and make a wish within five<BR> minutes. <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><BR> <BR><FONT color=red><SPAN style="COLOR: red"> I no longer have any savings because I gave it<BR>to a sick girl<BR> who is about to die in the hospital (for the<BR>1,387,258th
time). <BR></SPAN></FONT><BR> <BR> I no longer have any money at all - but that<BR>will change once I<BR> receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are<BR>sending me for<BR> participating in their special email program.<BR>
<BR> Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out<BR>for me that I<BR> will now return the favor!<BR> <BR> If you don't send this e-mail to at least<BR>144,000 people in the<BR> next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked<BR>case of diarrhea
will<BR> land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this<BR>afternoon. I know this will occur <BR> because it actually happened to a friend of my<BR>next door<BR> neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's<BR>cousin's beautician.<BR></SPAN></FONT></DIV></DIV>