[Namron] The Makynge of Elderflower Hocke - The Viking Methode

Annais de Montgomerie maleahladywait at yahoo.com
Fri Jul 27 06:51:05 PDT 2001

Saw this, and thought that some would find this type
of thing amusing.  I, however, would like to point out
the most heinous way these Vikings procure the
ingredients for this recipe, and the absolute
deplorable way they treat their fellow man.  I am
shocked and dismayed that this sort of thing is
promulgated in our society today.  I, for one, will
personally hunt down and humanely dispose of this
recipe should someone make it.


Pennsic Boycott Jamboree (PBJ)
"Make Love not War"

The Makynge of Elderflower Hocke - The Viking Methode.

By Pieter Van Wynken

First, assault Lindesfarne, pillage it and, just
before burning, take
4-5 sprays of the finest elderflowers (or 10 grams of
the dried ones)
from the best tree in the monastery.

Second, at the height of the honey season fight your
way to the Massif
Central (burning Paris to distract your pursuers) and
return with a
kilogram of the finest clover honey.

Thirdly, sack Cordoba and bring back three of their
finest lemons and
200 grams of dried sultanas.

Fourthly, visit an alchemist in Jerusalem (your local
brew shop will
do), extract a pinch of grape tannin from him, put him
to  the sword
and burn Jerusalem to the ground so that none may
divine the secret of
this mighty brew.

Fifthly, pillage Milan and take the finest goblets
available (it
avails you nought to drink without good company)

Sixthly, sack Rome, have the nobles driven before you
and select the
finest five to be cupbearers. Of these 'blood-eagle'
three in training
to be an example to remaining two. Neuter the
remaining two so they
will not be a temptation to the women folk.

Seventhly, return home and have your serfs do the

a) trim the flowers, discarding the stems
b) boil the honey, 4 litres of water and macerated
together for twenty minutes
c) put the flowers, chopped lemon rind (no pith) and
pinch of
tannin into a 4.5 litre demijohn
d) add the boiled liquid, top up with water
e) let it cool
f) add the lemon juice (nutrient and white wine yeast
g) let it ferment for six days
h) on the seventh day strain out the debris, top up
with a little
i) let it ferment out
j) bottle it and age it six months

Penultimately, pass the cup of wine to your taster
(one of the two
nobles) in case it's poisoned (for some reason this
happens a lot).
Scold the immaculately mannered cupbearer for his lack
of Viking

Finally, drink your elderflower hock in good company
and discuss the
deplorable state of affairs in other countries.

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