[Namron] The Namron Inquirer

Trum Peter namronnewsflash at yahoo.com
Wed Sep 4 14:24:35 PDT 2002


The Namron Inquirer
Publishing Storm Secrets since 2002.

All the gnews that is unfit to print and not worth the
bandwidth it’s printed on.

BARONESS BANISHED
by Iam S. Kneaky
The Crown has finally banished Hasheika Maleah Farashs
Raushana bint Abdulla.  Details are sketchy as more
reports filter into this office.  At press time,
specifics on the banishment are unknown and the length
was for an undisclosed amount of time.  More details
later as this reporter search for the answers.


Namron Destitute?
By Gimmie Allya Munny
Barony of Namron is reportedly in the financial
straights of Gibraltar.  Officials for the Barony
state that they are looking at solutions to avoid
Chapter 111.

In an unofficial press release on Tuesday, the Barony
of Namron announced that it is indeed operating at a
loss. According to sources relatively close to those
who are close to the sources, there is not enough to
support the Baroness in the style that she is
accustomed.

Spokespeople for the barony have said, "The Barony
is hopeful that all insolubility issues will be
resolved soon. Barony is consulting ADM, Enron and
WorldCom for suggestions on developing more liquidity,
so hope is in sight."  In an unprecedented move,
the Barony has hired Arthur Anderson, the renowned
accounting firm, to help it through this difficult
time.


Top Ten Signs Baronial Officers Might Have Worked For
Enron
----------------------------------------------------------------
·	10) The next officer meeting is in Buenos Aires.
·	 9) Banishment now includes lucrative severance
package.
·	 8) Baronial IPO notice found in the back of The
Plume.
·	 7) The Plume now sponsored by ADM, WorldCom and
Global Crossing.
·	 6) The Barony of Namron has been mentioned at least
twice on CNBC.
·	 5) The Baronial account is in Switzerland.
·	 4) Protectorate has been renamed a "Hostile
Takeover"
·	 3) Former Baron and Baroness deny membership in the
SCA.
·	 2) New zip code information for the Barony of
Namron now includes the Bahamas.
·	 1) Beltaine made 5.6 million in profit.


Editorial page
Why Is the Barony in the news?
Editorial by Lou Grantlevel

Well, it seems as if Namron has made it to the
national gnews again. What is going on with the
current administration? It seems that they want to be
in the gnews.  No matter if it is for better or worse.
 They are well on their way to prove the old adage,
"Any publicity is good publicity", false.

This current administration seems to be following the
past administrations actions. We all remember the
infamous “Kwan” scandal all those many years ago. And
it seems as if the recent actions of the current
administration make "Kwan" scandal look
sophomoric.

And we are even hearing of rumors that those close to
those who are close to those who are close to the
current administration are bailing ship for positions
on the kingdom level.   This should serve as warning
to the rest of us that something smells fishy in the
state of Norway, and it's not that old Lute Fisk and
Yams we've been hearing about for years.

The reports that Namron is in ruins takes the cake.
The fact that the relatives of the Baroness are
refusing to help makes matters even worse.  I mean how
can they not even bother to help?  I thought all those
Western Ansteorran types stuck like flies on honey to
each other.  Maybe they've disowned her because they
figured out what she's been doing. Maybe they are the
missing links.

And now we find out about the cover up of the problems
were reported to the crown at Coronation and again at
Wiesenfeuer Baronial. And to top it all off, Namron
has been linked to the ADM, Enron and WorldCom scandal
and reports of 5.6 million Rubles missing.  This
smells of typical Viking management styles.  This
"We thought we put you there, what are you doing
here?" attitude must stop.  If this administration
is able to miss 5.6 million Rubles, all of them
relatives, just imagine what would happen if they
"missed" us?  Makes one wonder if this recent
"night job" of Her Excellency's has anything
to do with the recent disappearance of the missing
Rubles.  This management style makes Vlad the Impaler
look like a saint to the western world.

I sincerely hope that we find the missing Rubles and
the Crown investigates these apparent injustices.  At
least Their Majesties did the right thing by banishing
Her Excellency.



Classifieds


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The al Assani Land and Trust Company Announces…
A one of a kind Estate Sale
The first weekend in October
Personal and public belongings of Omar will be
auctioned to the highest bidder. PAYMENT ACCEPTED IN
CASH or SMALL CHILDREN ONLY.


.
Al Assani Land and Trust Company is currently hiring
for…
Undertaker
Needed Sunday, 13 Oct.
Salary commiserate with experience.  No experience
preferred. Must have own land for disposal purposes.
Must be able to accommodate 1-4 bodies.  Discreet
inquiries only.

The preceding announcements were sponsored by the al
Assani Land and Trust Company. "Where we never
give a suck...er.. A customer an even break."


HELP WANTED
Local landed Nobility seeking Head Lady in
Waiting/Schlepper.
Duties include heavy lugging, lifting, toting,
packing, and carrying; so a strong back and arms are a
must.  Also, must have selective hearing and vision
loss.  Must be able to read body language and NLB
baseball signals in order to extract said nobility out
of sycophant death grip.  Experience in project
management or herding cats a plus.  Duties also
include feeding and watering of the Nobility and the
occasional Royal, so experience with livestock a
definite bonus.  Must be able to make a cup of coffee
so strong even Abdul won't give it to Inman and make a
cup of Earl Grey tea with enough sugar to rot the
teeth of all children within a 50 mile radius.  Must
be able to stuff said Nobility into garb and sleeping
bags as the need arises.  Must have flexible work
schedule; able to work swing shift and weekends a
MUST.  Salary is commiserate with experience.  All
interested applicants should send resume with cover
letter to: maleahladywait at yahoo.com.


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