[Namron] Tent Erection Directions

[HL. Grimhun]

This was sent to help me, and I will send to help you.

Ever have trouble setting up a screen tent or a tent when on the road to out
of town events?  These directions should help.

These directions work also for a variety of tents and tarps, regardless of
color.

                           Tent Erection Directions

    1.  Consume alcohol; sort through various nylon stuff bags until you
find tent(s) and set(s) of poles, hope they're all there and go with each
other.  Celebrate completion of step one by consuming more alcohol.

   2.  Consume alcohol; making sure ground is level (already most of the
ground you originally thought was level is oddly less-level), spread out
tent, organize poles into same sizes/shapes--visualizing just how YOU think
the final erection should look.   Take a deep breath, celebrate completion
of step two by consuming more alcohol.

     3a.  Consume alcohol.  Start assembling poles.  Take apart and redo.
Take apart and redo again, discarding extra poles that obviously don't
belong.  Look for missing poles.  Look for duct tape.  Reassemble poles
using duct tape where necessary.  It's getting dark.  Take a break,
consuming more alcohol.

     3b.  Spread out tent again and begin attaching poles where YOU think
they go.

           3b1.  Remove all poles except one and try again, using duct tape
where necessary.  It's really getting dark now.  Celebrate completion of
step 3b & b1 by consuming alcohol.

           3b2.  Consume alcohol.  Remove sunglasses.  Search for
flashlight.  Talk to the dog.  Repeat step 3b1.  Celebrate completion of
step 3b2 by consuming more alcohol.

   4.  Consume alcohol.  Apologize to dog for tripping over her while
searching for non-dead flashlight batteries.  Repeat step 3b1 til you run
out of duct tape.  Celebrate completion of step four by consuming alcohol
while standing around campfire with friends philosophising about,
explaining, discovering the meaning of life.

This works for me every time.