[Namron] A funny, ABBOTT and COSTELLO Buy A Computer

[Lord Pooky]

For MY first friend, Barrat
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>ABBOTT and COSTELLO Buy A Computer
>COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .
>ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>COSTELLO: Thanks.I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about 
>buying a computer.
>ABBOTT: Mac?
>COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>ABBOTT: Your computer?
>COSTELLO: I don't own a computer.I want to buy one.
>ABBOTT: Mac?
>COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
>ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
>COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.I need a computer and software.
>ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
>COSTELLO: No. On the computer!I need something I can use to write 
>proposals,track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
>ABBOTT: Office.
>COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>ABBOTT: I just did.
>COSTELLO: You just did what?
>ABBOTT: Recommend something.
>COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>ABBOTT: Yes.
>COSTELLO: For my office?
>ABBOTT: Yes.
>COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>ABBOTT: Office.
>COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
>COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm 
>sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
>ABBOTT: Word.
>COSTELLO: What word?
>ABBOTT: Word in Office.
>COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
>ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
>COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some 
>straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
>ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
>COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your 
>business. Just tell me what I need!
>ABBOTT: Real One.
>COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I 
>watch them?
>ABBOTT: Of course.
>COSTELLO: Great! With what?
>ABBOTT: Real One.
>COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
>ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
>COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
>ABBOTT: The blue "1".
>COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
>ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
>COSTELLO: What word?
>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
>ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
>COSTELLO: It is?
>ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty 
>much wiped out all the other Words out there.
>COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
>ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of 
>Office.
>COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? 
>You have anything I can track my money with?
>ABBOTT: Money.
>COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>ABBOTT: Money.
>COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
>ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
>COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
>ABBOTT: Money.
>COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
>COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>ABBOTT: One copy.
>COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
>COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>A FEW DAYS LATER . .
>ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
>ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........
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>Live fast, fight hard, and have a beautiful ending.
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