[Namron] Re: [Ansteorra] Newcomers
bobby harlow
ironstorm34 at hotmail.com
Sun Dec 5 23:06:30 PST 2004
Very well put,however you exclude one important factor.We recognize new
faces in the groups,introduce ourselves,etc,etc.The one thing we cannot do
is read minds.If the "newcomer"doesnt ask,how can we provide an answer?
I go out of my way to make newcomers feel welcome every time,as do
many others in Namron and Skarrgard.As for the fancy words and who is
attached to them,that we can help with.We take them to that personwith the
fancy title and that solves a problem.
I,for one,can't take each person by the hand and guide them through
thier first years in the SCA.That is something they have to do themselves.I
will,however,help as much as I can.The SCA,like pretty much everything else
in life,is an on-going lesson.If you don't ask,I don't know what to answer
you with.Nor does anyone else.
In fact,I'll give you a shining example of a newcomer and his
success:Herr Wolfgang.I was on him for years to join the SCA.He finally
showed up to a meeting and wham!!!! he was on his way.He has earned a good
name,a good reputation and a home within the Barony of Namron in a very
short time as the SCA goes.And he knew absolutely nothing about the SCA
other than the fact that I liked it and thought it was fun.Even moreso he is
a success because all I told him is what we were,not much else,and he took
it on himself to learn about us.
It isn't up to me to make sure everyone else has fun in the SCA.The
most that should be asked of anyone in the SCA is simple,follow the laws of
the society and your kingdom,play your game your way and try not to ruin
anyone else's game.That is why we have the office of hospitaller.THAT person
has the job of welcoming the newcomers to any group.And SHOULD point them in
the right direction of their interests,whatever the may be.Quite frankly,I
am tired of being lumped into the stereotype of the SCAer that goes out of
his way to make sure a newcomer HAS to get a little tiffed before we do
anything to make them feel welcome.It downright irritates me.
I can give an even more glaring example:ME.I have called many kingdoms
and many groups home.More than I would care to admit.I am still welcome
in,and still call them ALL home in one way or another.I was new to all of
them at one point in time or another.I never used the excuses of"everyone
knows everyone except me" to not accept personal responsibility to learn
about the group I was new to,or to learn about the SCA.As for "cracking the
shell "and" a fear of commiting a faux pas",that is a personal issue.One's
own fears are at fault,NOT the group of which they wish to become a part.As
I said before,we can't read minds.
And just so you know,the idea of the mentoring program is alive and
well in our little Incipient Canton of Skarrgard.I,personally, have taken
two young men under my wing to teach them about the SCA,and a third is
starting to huddle about my wingtips.My lady,Sayiddah Fayidah,has taken two
young ladies under her wing as well.I wouldthink that qualifies the
mentoring program as alive and well and not stopped at a discussion or two.
And as for not knowing what to ask,neither do we old timers.I am
firm beliver that the only stupid question is the one not asked.I can't
speak for anyone else on that matter,but you have to ask SOMETHING,so that
we know there is a question at all.As for a newcomers"handbook",there is a
newcomers guide on the SCA webpage.And it has been there for years.As for
who does what in which job,there is also a handbook for evey SCA office on
the SCA webpage.So there are resources to find these things if you
really want to look for them.One might try looking a bit harder for the
answers to questions before pointing fingers.So,please don't lump us all
together in that old comfortable SCA category.
Lord Halldor the Mad Jester
(quietly putting away the soap box)
>From: Isobel de Kirkbryde <kirkbryde at yahoo.com>
>Reply-To: Barony of Namron <namron at ansteorra.org>
>To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at ansteorra.org>,
>Barony of Namron <namron at ansteorra.org>
>Subject: [Namron] Re: [Ansteorra] Newcomers
>Date: Sun, 5 Dec 2004 13:14:11 -0800 (PST)
>
>
>--- "Clay R." <scafaelan at yahoo.com> wrote:
>(snip)
> > I, like many people in this society, believe that
> > newcomers truly are the future of our ways and our
> > interests. Without new blood, nothing can grow. It
> > is you my friend, that is the future of the SCA,
> > along with many others like yourself. (snip)
>
>On the one hand, I hear this from those who have been
>in the SCA for awhile, and on the other hand, I hear
>this gentleman's pain and aggravation at the
>extraordinary amount of effort that seems to be
>required as a newbie to even be a part of the group.
>
>Like all other organizations, politics are involved
>and people who have known each other a long time get
>comfortable and rest on their "laurels" (and I am not
>referring to the Order of the Laurel here) and don't
>realize how hard it is for a new person to understand
>how to become a part of the group, WHO to contact or
>what to ask.
>
>I've seen posts suggesting that this gentleman contact
>his "hospitaler, senechal, baron and baronness, etc."
>While all of these are terrific suggestions, when I
>was nes, I didn't know what those fancy words meant
>much less who was attached to them on the other side
>of the words. The Baron and Baroness were "royalty"
>in my eyes and on a pedestal where I wasn't worthy to
>be in their presence. Yes, perhaps I over-reacted.
>But, when you don't know what all this is really about
>and it just looks fun, the biggest fear for some of us
>is to screw up and do something really embarrasing or
>stupid.
>
>I have wanted to participate in the SCA for over 20
>years, but my ex-husband wouldn't have anything to do
>with it. After my divorce, I "married" into the SCA
>by marrying a Laurel. We have been together and
>playing in the SCA now for a little over two years and
>it has only been in the last couple of months that I
>figured out who the Senechal was, who the Hospitaler
>was, and what the beginning of what roles these people
>play along with the Baron and Baroness of my Barony.
>Note: I am in a different Barony than Mike.
>
>When I made my cry to the Barony about 3-5 months ago
>about feeling left out and the assumption that I knew
>everything I needed to know beacuse I'm married to a
>Laurel, I was heard. What I don't understand is why
>it takes a new person becoming aggravated enough to
>sound off before they are welcomed into their group?
>This seems to be a problem throughout the SCA and not
>localized to any particular kingdom, barony, or area.
>I wonder how many people who want to participate and
>don't know who to contact and don't raise Cain when
>they are frustrated, end up just walking away. How
>many Knights, Laurels, and Pelicans do we lose at the
>very beginning?
>
>The Barony I'm in even had some discussion on our
>e-list about starting a mentoring program for those
>who had participated for awhile to take a new person
>under their wing and lead them along. People seemed
>to like the idea, but that is where it died -- at the
>idea stage. I also have known some of the people in
>my Barony for quite over 20 years as mundane friends.
>But, when it came to the SCA, I didn't know the rules
>of whether it was OK or not to ask them questions, ask
>for help, and what kinds of help I could ask for.
>What things can someone who is trying things on for
>size and isn't a member yet can do or not do to
>participate? My lack of understanding of the rules of
>the game and my fear of being embarrased or commiting
>a major faux pas because of that held me back to
>observing, sitting on the sidelines, and feeling left
>out.
>
>The SCA is full of unwritten rules. Well, perhaps
>they are written down somewhere, but if they are, new
>people don't know where to find them or how to ask
>about them. There is clearly a protocol, hierarchy,
>etc., and I know I hung back trying to get the feel of
>things before complaining about this very same issue.
>
> > PS - Just remember, you get out of the SCA what you
> > put into it,
>
>While this may be true, you have to break through the
>shell to be accepted as "part of the pack" before you
>can even find out how to "put into it." Cracking the
>case of the comfortable group where everyone knows
>everyone is not an easy task.
>
>I have been thinking of things *I* might be able to do
>in my Barony and Kingdon to try to facilitate an
>easier passage than I have had and that I hear from
>others. Surely there has to be a solution so that
>people don't feel hurt, excluded, sidelined, etc. I
>just haven't figured out what it is yet. I am
>observing, taking notes, and trying to evaluate what
>works for cracking through that shell and what
>doesn't.
>
>I think part of the problem is that those who are
>working are so busy working that they don't see the
>ones on the sidelines who are dying to get in the
>game. It is kind of like a sandlot baseball or pick
>up basketball game. Once people are in the game, they
>become oblivious to the bystanders who want to play,
>too. And tha analogy holds with knowing the rules of
>the game. What happens if you run around the bases
>backward? What happens if you don't understand what
>it means to catch a fly ball? The ones who know the
>game make a big stink and you feel embarrased. I
>certainly didn't want people to remember be for being
>a jerk who screwd things up.
>
>Living and playing the dream is indeed fun and part of
>the initiative has to come from the person who wants
>to join. But, acceptance into the group needs to be a
>whole lot easier. I don't even know what the duties
>of most of the people with titles are. What does a
>hospitaler really do? What are they supposed to do?
>What does a Seneschal do? What are they supposed to
>do? What does a Herald do? What are they supposed to
>do? What are all the different orders? What do they
>mean? What do the awards mean? What are they for?
>Which ones are only in the Barony or Kingdon and which
>are Society wide?
>
>My husband and I had a long discussion about this and
>I got information about some of these questions last
>night on the way home from Yule Revel. Why didn't I
>know before now? Because I didn't know what to ask!
>
>I have had a problem with a mundane organization with
>the same problem. I was chastised for not asking the
>right questions. But, first you have to KNOW WHAT TO
>ASK!
>
>I find that once you know who to ask and what to ask
>in the SCA, you can begin do make progress. But until
>you figure that part out, it can be a pretty rough row
>to hoe.
>
>Little things make a big difference. And, when I
>mention some of the little things that have meant a
>lot to me and begin to make me feel welcome the "old
>hands" for all practical purposes "laugh." They have
>done the work for so long, that the newness and the
>first tiny steps toward being an accepted active
>participant are so far in the past that they don't
>remember the excitement of the little things.
>
>The first thing that made me feel I had a chance to
>really participate in the SCA was given to me last
>year at Twelfth Night in the Barony of the Steppes.
>Apparently, their tradition is to honor new persons
>who have never attended the fanciful event by giving
>them a silver acorn (in the hopes it will grow into an
>Oak). Mine sits in a place of honor in my jewelry box
>and I smile every time I open the box and see it.
>
>The second thing that was titilating for me happened
>when a "demo" ay my church was postponed in our
>Barony. The Baron asked me to be certain that the
>church knew that the Barony was willing and eager to
>reschedule and participate. *I* was asked by the
>Baron to be responsible for something! To everyone
>else in the room, it was no big deal. To me, it was a
>rite of passage and a piece of acceptance. *I* had
>been asked by the Baron. Wow!
>
>I think sometimes SCAdians who have been around a
>while think that the new folks are looking for awards
>and recognition without the work. That isn't the
>case. We are just looking for a sign that we are part
>of the group, too.
>
>Has anyone written a "what to do as a new person"
>introduction to the SCA? in booklet or pamphlet
>format? If so, perhaps one way to break the ice would
>be to have them available for purchase or handout or
>something at events when people sign in, pay site
>fees, pay feast fees, etc.? I know one key to
>participating functionally in any group is to learn
>its language (lingo, acronyms, etc.) and the SCA is
>rife full of them. If there isn't a booklet, perhaps
>that would be a good thing for me to work on while the
>struggle of being new is still fresh and I now
>learning what questions to ask. If there is one, then
>we need to find it, update it if needed, and get it
>out and visible. People can't access things they
>don't know exist.
>
>
>
>
>=====
>Isobel de Kirkbryde married to a Laurel (Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay)
>
>Mundanes: Mike and Melody Andrews
>
>
>
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