[Namron] Somehow this made me think of you guys

Susan O'Neal catmafia at direcway.com
Fri Jan 30 14:12:57 PST 2004


Not sure what it was exactly, but think it was the discussion of what was 
in the bottom of the beer bottles and then if they could be washed in the 
hot tub,
Susan

THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from
what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is
probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is
spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese
is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular
cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more
spoiled than it is already.  Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you
think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased
that kind.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is
spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting
problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or
wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away
perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps
you'd benefit by having a calender in your kitchen.

MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-
block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable
"spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good
indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical
laboratory experiment.

FLOUR
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

SALT
It never spoils.

CEREAL
It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be
discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration
date.

LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of
the vegetable crisper without Comet.  Romaine lettuce is spoiled
when it turns liquid.

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball
should be disposed of. Carefully.

CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

RAISINS
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy
undergrowth.

CHIP DIP
If you  can take it out of its container and bounce it on the
floor, it has gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old
trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard
the Tupperware along with the food.  Generally speaking,
Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a
hamster.  Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge
this.





More information about the Namron mailing list