[Namron] Re: The Black Death

[Isobel de Kirkbryde]

You have no idea how much reading this means to me and
your invitation is accepted with pleasure.  I didn't
mean to pick on any one person and certainly not you
and your lovely lady.  The bigger point was that no
matter where I went, I didn't feel like I fit in
because of the assumption that I knew all I needed to
know because I'm married to a Laurel.  I still have my
own learning curve to esperience.  Your humility and
eagerness to change says a lot for your character. 
Thank you for stepping up to the plate to make a
difference.  Of course, I will graciously accept the
invitation to your home and look forward to learning
from you.  You obviously have much to share.

Isobel de Kirkbryde

--- WkTadhg <tadhg at ou.edu> wrote:

> Greetings,
> 
> I read Isobel's post and find myself very embarassed
> and much ashamed. I
> clearly failed as a host on two separate occassions,
> and I am truly sorry.
> 
> Further, I apologize to any others who have visited
> my abode and have been
> left wanting in a similar manner. To me, this is
> inexcusable.
> 
> What the dear lady has described is a commentary
> session but these
> activities must always yield to consultation--aiding
> in the development and
> submission of name and arms. Obviously, I was remiss
> in my duties as a
> herald and again apologize to you and any others who
> have been treated thus.
> 
> As for the sewing night, I must defer to my lady
> wife as that is her
> activity--I tend to hide in the kitchen on those
> nights.
> 
> I humbly ask milady Isobel, and any others so
> affected, please allow my wife
> and I the opportunity to remedy this. I cannot undo
> what has been done--but
> I can endeavor to make a better go of it.
> 
> Sewing night is Thursday next and the heralds
> meeting is Thursday two weeks
> thereafter. Please grace us with your company and
> allow us the opportunity
> to prove ourselves better hosts.
> 
> Regards and sincerest apologies,
> Tadhg
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: namron-bounces+tadhg=ou.edu at ansteorra.org
> [mailto:namron-bounces+tadhg=ou.edu at ansteorra.org]
> On Behalf Of Isobel de
> Kirkbryde
> Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2004 1:37 AM
> To: Barony of Namron
> Subject: Re: [Namron] Re: The Black Death
> 
> 
> As a newbie, I probably have no "right" to say what
> I
> am about to, but I'm going to put my head on the
> chopping block anyway.
> 
> I wasn't at Protectorate and as far as I am
> concerned,
> the situation is over whether it was handled well or
> poorly.  End of discussion.  I certainly don't want
> to
> hear any more about it.  I can't do anything to fix
> it
> and the griping is getting on my nerves. 
> 
> I have actively been trying to play in the SCA for
> well over a year.  (I wanted to 20 years ago, but my
> first husband would have none of it.) I have had no
> guidance and pretty much had to figure things out on
> my own.  I have asked to work, been promised I could
> and then no one ever called to assign a task.  So, I
> find events very boring.  I am not a fighter.  I am
> not an archer.  I am not a drinker -- at least of
> beer
> and ale.  So, I sit and watch people who know each
> other congregate in little groups.  I sit and watch
> people walk by me and never say hello.  I sit and
> watch, but I don't belong. 
> 
> I have tried to do more to participate.  I tried
> attending populace meetings, but the building
> echoes,
> the acoustics are terrible and my hearing aids get
> over loaded to the point I am a shaking mess at the
> end.  Okay, I can't handle that. 
> 
> I attended Waytes and Measures.  In fact, they
> played
> for my wedding.  But, I can no longer play the viola
> because of my neck and back.  I don't know how to
> play
> other "period" instruments, so it got pretty boring
> to
> sit and watch every time I went.
> 
> I tried dancing.  I love it, but my back doesn't and
> sadly I had to quit that activity.
> 
> I tried "stich -n- bitch" hoping to have some
> guidance
> on garb for my persona.  I discovered instead it was
> handwork that I was totally unfamiliar with and I
> felt
> very uncomfortable being there.  So that one was
> out.
> 
> I tried attending a heraldry meeting in the hopes of
> learning more about what is appropriate to develop
> my
> persona around.  Instead it was a bitch session
> about
> people who had filed things that couldn't be
> accepted
> for this reason or that one and was way over my
> head. 
> Next?
> 
> I attended charter painting.  I have never done this
> in my life.  The first time I walked in I was shown
> the paints, samples to work on, given instructions,
> a
> chair, shown where the goodies and drinks were and
> was
> expected to participate.  I did one sample during
> the
> session.  It wasn't great, but I was learning.  The
> next time, I was welcome back.  There was laughter
> and
> stories and taking turns at the table because so
> many
> people were there.  I went back again.  On the third
> visit, I am treated like I belong and have always
> belonged.  Hallelujah!  I finally found a place to
> feel wanted.
> 
> I am stubborn and don't give up easily.  How many
> other newbies would go through all those things,
> feel
> totally unwelcome and keep on trying?  I was lucky
> enough to have a Laurel to guide me.  When I said
> this
> didn't work or that didn't work, he knew of other
> things to offer me.
> 
> If the organization is going to survive, it must
> welcome newbies openly.  It must offer something fun
> to do.  It must offer educational opportunities. 
> There must NOT be an assumption that everyone who is
> in garb knows the rules, the game, the options, who
> is
> in charge of what, how to become an active
> participant, etc.  Mentoring is desperately needed. 
> When someone new comes into the fold a mentor should
> be assigned to help them through all the steps
> necessary to not make a fool of themselves, to feel
> welcome, and to learn more about how to play to have
> fun.  
> 
> I sure wish someone other than my husband had
> befriended me and taken me under their wing. 
> Learning
> all this on my own is hard.  That's OK.  I'm a tough
> old bird.  I wanted to play in the SCA for 20 years.
> 
> Now that I have my chance, being ignored isn't going
> to stop me.  I will find a way.  But, how many other
> newbies are you going to lose by ignoring them and
> then they have to observe these nasty word battles? 
> 
> 
> Leave the fighting for the field and reach out and
> help someone else have fun, too.  They might be
> grateful. 
> 
> 
> 
> =====
> Isobel de Kirkbryde married to a Laurel (Michael
> Fenwick of Fotheringhay)
> 
> Mundanes:  Mike and Melody Andrews
> 
> 
> 		
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