[Namron] Re: The Black Death
Isobel de Kirkbryde
kirkbryde at yahoo.com
Fri Oct 22 04:35:03 PDT 2004
You have no idea how much reading this means to me and
your invitation is accepted with pleasure. I didn't
mean to pick on any one person and certainly not you
and your lovely lady. The bigger point was that no
matter where I went, I didn't feel like I fit in
because of the assumption that I knew all I needed to
know because I'm married to a Laurel. I still have my
own learning curve to esperience. Your humility and
eagerness to change says a lot for your character.
Thank you for stepping up to the plate to make a
difference. Of course, I will graciously accept the
invitation to your home and look forward to learning
from you. You obviously have much to share.
Isobel de Kirkbryde
--- WkTadhg <tadhg at ou.edu> wrote:
> Greetings,
>
> I read Isobel's post and find myself very embarassed
> and much ashamed. I
> clearly failed as a host on two separate occassions,
> and I am truly sorry.
>
> Further, I apologize to any others who have visited
> my abode and have been
> left wanting in a similar manner. To me, this is
> inexcusable.
>
> What the dear lady has described is a commentary
> session but these
> activities must always yield to consultation--aiding
> in the development and
> submission of name and arms. Obviously, I was remiss
> in my duties as a
> herald and again apologize to you and any others who
> have been treated thus.
>
> As for the sewing night, I must defer to my lady
> wife as that is her
> activity--I tend to hide in the kitchen on those
> nights.
>
> I humbly ask milady Isobel, and any others so
> affected, please allow my wife
> and I the opportunity to remedy this. I cannot undo
> what has been done--but
> I can endeavor to make a better go of it.
>
> Sewing night is Thursday next and the heralds
> meeting is Thursday two weeks
> thereafter. Please grace us with your company and
> allow us the opportunity
> to prove ourselves better hosts.
>
> Regards and sincerest apologies,
> Tadhg
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: namron-bounces+tadhg=ou.edu at ansteorra.org
> [mailto:namron-bounces+tadhg=ou.edu at ansteorra.org]
> On Behalf Of Isobel de
> Kirkbryde
> Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2004 1:37 AM
> To: Barony of Namron
> Subject: Re: [Namron] Re: The Black Death
>
>
> As a newbie, I probably have no "right" to say what
> I
> am about to, but I'm going to put my head on the
> chopping block anyway.
>
> I wasn't at Protectorate and as far as I am
> concerned,
> the situation is over whether it was handled well or
> poorly. End of discussion. I certainly don't want
> to
> hear any more about it. I can't do anything to fix
> it
> and the griping is getting on my nerves.
>
> I have actively been trying to play in the SCA for
> well over a year. (I wanted to 20 years ago, but my
> first husband would have none of it.) I have had no
> guidance and pretty much had to figure things out on
> my own. I have asked to work, been promised I could
> and then no one ever called to assign a task. So, I
> find events very boring. I am not a fighter. I am
> not an archer. I am not a drinker -- at least of
> beer
> and ale. So, I sit and watch people who know each
> other congregate in little groups. I sit and watch
> people walk by me and never say hello. I sit and
> watch, but I don't belong.
>
> I have tried to do more to participate. I tried
> attending populace meetings, but the building
> echoes,
> the acoustics are terrible and my hearing aids get
> over loaded to the point I am a shaking mess at the
> end. Okay, I can't handle that.
>
> I attended Waytes and Measures. In fact, they
> played
> for my wedding. But, I can no longer play the viola
> because of my neck and back. I don't know how to
> play
> other "period" instruments, so it got pretty boring
> to
> sit and watch every time I went.
>
> I tried dancing. I love it, but my back doesn't and
> sadly I had to quit that activity.
>
> I tried "stich -n- bitch" hoping to have some
> guidance
> on garb for my persona. I discovered instead it was
> handwork that I was totally unfamiliar with and I
> felt
> very uncomfortable being there. So that one was
> out.
>
> I tried attending a heraldry meeting in the hopes of
> learning more about what is appropriate to develop
> my
> persona around. Instead it was a bitch session
> about
> people who had filed things that couldn't be
> accepted
> for this reason or that one and was way over my
> head.
> Next?
>
> I attended charter painting. I have never done this
> in my life. The first time I walked in I was shown
> the paints, samples to work on, given instructions,
> a
> chair, shown where the goodies and drinks were and
> was
> expected to participate. I did one sample during
> the
> session. It wasn't great, but I was learning. The
> next time, I was welcome back. There was laughter
> and
> stories and taking turns at the table because so
> many
> people were there. I went back again. On the third
> visit, I am treated like I belong and have always
> belonged. Hallelujah! I finally found a place to
> feel wanted.
>
> I am stubborn and don't give up easily. How many
> other newbies would go through all those things,
> feel
> totally unwelcome and keep on trying? I was lucky
> enough to have a Laurel to guide me. When I said
> this
> didn't work or that didn't work, he knew of other
> things to offer me.
>
> If the organization is going to survive, it must
> welcome newbies openly. It must offer something fun
> to do. It must offer educational opportunities.
> There must NOT be an assumption that everyone who is
> in garb knows the rules, the game, the options, who
> is
> in charge of what, how to become an active
> participant, etc. Mentoring is desperately needed.
> When someone new comes into the fold a mentor should
> be assigned to help them through all the steps
> necessary to not make a fool of themselves, to feel
> welcome, and to learn more about how to play to have
> fun.
>
> I sure wish someone other than my husband had
> befriended me and taken me under their wing.
> Learning
> all this on my own is hard. That's OK. I'm a tough
> old bird. I wanted to play in the SCA for 20 years.
>
> Now that I have my chance, being ignored isn't going
> to stop me. I will find a way. But, how many other
> newbies are you going to lose by ignoring them and
> then they have to observe these nasty word battles?
>
>
> Leave the fighting for the field and reach out and
> help someone else have fun, too. They might be
> grateful.
>
>
>
> =====
> Isobel de Kirkbryde married to a Laurel (Michael
> Fenwick of Fotheringhay)
>
> Mundanes: Mike and Melody Andrews
>
>
>
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