<html><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; ">I regret to inform you that apparently the Fantasy Actor's Guild has noticed our little fair in Namron, possibly due to the increased media coverage in the last couple of years. As such, they have declared that given the number of new-age style merchants and the ready availability of fairy wings in myriad colors, the Norman Medieval Fair has been categorized as a fantasy event, and as such is under their auspices.<div><br></div><div>What does that mean for us? Unfortunately (especially for those who have taken the acting workshops given last month) that means that period speech (of any period) is banned, unless each speech makes mention of some element of fantasy. Should performers at the fair wish to greet a lady, the phrase "Good morrow to you, milady" must instead be changed to include a fantasy element, such as "Lo, how the fairies do shine upon thee this morn, milady".</div><div><br></div><div>Additionally, all names of performers must have a consonant preceding them with a gratuitous apostrophe, should the performer be portraying a noble. For example, Lord Lorenzo must now be F'Lorenzo and Lady Antonia is now K'antonia. Further, all garb that is considered "too period" will be required to be modified to include no less than 42 square inches of sequins and/or black vinyl. If garb is feminine, red vinyl may be substituted.</div><div><br></div><div>There are a number of other rules and regulations which are available at the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools%2527_Day">F.A.G. website</a>. Fortunately, unlike S.A.G., there is no requirement that you be a member before performing in the medieval fair. Unfortunately, however, the Fantasy Actor's Guild takes enforcement of its policies seriously and will have "Compliance Officers" present to ensure they are carried out. These compliance officers are described as having sullen blue eyes and a black square-cut mane and are recognizable by their chiseled musculature made visible by their naugahyde loincloths and faux fur cloaks, complete with elforyn skull-shaped shoulder pieces. Should you be performing when one or more (they like to travel in pairs) of these compliance officers approaches, it is advisable to immediately break character and begin speaking (without appearing to notice them) in a deep southern accent with lots of "Y'all"s and "OK"s thrown in to make it clear you are not giving a period performance. "Y'all oughta go have you some of them funnel cakes an' go ride them elephants over yonder, OK?" will probably throw them off the scent.</div><div><br></div><div>The last person the Guild's compliance officers caught performing in a period manner was found a day later, boiled in his own figgy pudding with a coat-hanger and panty-hose fairy wing through his heart.</div><div><br></div><div>Should anyone still wish to learn how to play (in period) with the crowds, I will be working with people off and on through the fair as I have time from my other duties, and will risk life and limb to help as many as I can... just keep your eyes peeled for those compliance officers...</div><div><br></div><div>-Robert o' the Faire</div><div><br></div><div>PS- I tried to send this with a small attachment (the Faire Thee Well phrase guide for performing at the fair). However, since it didn't get through, please email me if you would like a copy.</div></body></html>