[NR] Some Great Words

[CelticNorthStar at aol.com]

--
[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
 I ran across this of late and thought with Crown Lyst Coming up that some
may find this interesting reading.
Lord Gaelan



HUMOUR







This is a filk on the spoken word 'song' "SUNSCREEN" done by Bas Lehrman
(sp?) that is so popular right now. As far as I can tell, the new lyrics were
written by Owain ap Maredudd.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Crown Tourney.
Wear Armour If I could offer you only one tip for the future, armour would be
it. The long-term benefits of armour have been proven by Dukes, whereas the
rest of my advice has no basis more relaible than my own meandering
experience.. I will dispense this advice now.. Enjoy the power and beauty of
your sword. Oh, never mind.. You will not understand the power and beauty of
your sword until it's mushed into a broom. But, thrust me, in twenty rounds
you'll look back at pictures of yourself and recall in a way you you can't
grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really
looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or
worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to block a Duke's axe
by screaming in fear. The real blows that ends the fight will are apt to be
the things that you never saw, the kind that blind side you around your
shield.. Do one thing in every bout that scares you.. Sing.. Don't be
reckless with other people's ribcages. Don't put up with people who are
reckless with yours.. "Light.." Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes
you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The bout is long and, in the end, it's
only with yourself.. and with that guy trying to cave your skull in..
Remember the compliments you recieve. Forget the insults. If you succeed in
doing this, tell me how.. Keep your old helms. Throw away your old swords..
Stretch.. Don't feel guilty if you don't know how to fight your opponent. The
most interesting Counts are still surprised they won. The very most
interesting Dukes didn't know how to fight all their opponents either.. Get
plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're
gone.. Maybe you'll win, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be coronated, maybe
you won't. Maybe you'll get knocked out in the first round, maybe you'll be
in finals. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate
yourself either. You blows are half chance. So are everyone else's.. Enjoy
your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other
people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.. Dance,
even if you have nowhere to do it but on your fallen opponent.. Read the
rules of the list, even of you are illiterate.. Do not read the Order of
Precedence. It will only make you feel outclassed. Get to know your Crown.
You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your Baron. They're
your best link to your Crown.. Understand that friends come and go, but with
a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle, because, as Crown, you'll have see more geography and
lifestyles than you ever imagined.. Live in Atlantia once, but leave before
it makes you invulnerable to normal blows. Live in the Northern Outlands
once, but leave before you start accepting near misses as killing shots..
Accept some inalienable truths: Tournaments always run longer than expected.
Feasts will be late. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when you were young, tournaments were reasonable, feasts were
on time, and children respected the Crown.. Respect your Crown.. Don't expect
anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a squire. Maybe you have a
consort. But it's you standing on the list field. Don't mess too much with
your helm or by the time you're 40, it will be 40 guage. Be careful whose
advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of
nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it's worth.. But trust me on the armour..