NK - Fw: ANST - You know you're Castle Trash if.... (fwd)

[Angus]

Sorry I had to pass this on
Please add to the list if you can
I can't believe there wasn't 1 word about Elvis
Angus
-----Original Message-----
From: Michael F. Gunter <mfgunter at fnc.fujitsu.com>
To: ansteorra at Ansteorra.ORG <ansteorra at Ansteorra.ORG>
Date: Tuesday, December 15, 1998 4:30 AM
Subject: ANST - You know you're Castle Trash if.... (fwd)


>I got this off of a Humor mailing list. Kinda fun
>and for once it isn't another "12-Days of Christmas"
>spoof.
>
>Yours,
>
>Gunthar
>===================================================
>
>
>You know you're Castle Trash if......
>(slightly risqué, the sensitive should avoid )
>
>Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet
>
>Your daughter's chastity belt has rusted
>
>You can't afford a cod piece................nobody notices
>
>You have more sheep dogs than sheep
>
>You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to have...
>
>The plague improved your complexion...........but only for a little while
>
>The Pope sends you to the Crusades...........in Norway
>
>Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum
>
>Your wife is stronger than your plow horse...but the horse is prettier
>
>The grail you brought home has "made in China" printed on the bottom
>
>Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom
>
>You won "most improved " at the tournament
>
>They call your daughter made Marian
>
>Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says "peace before
>discomfort"
>
>Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son
>
>Your skullery maids laugh out loud when you call Edward The First ,"big Ed"
>
>The Following were submitted by our visitors:
>
>You know you're castle trash if you're war tent says Wal-Mart on the top
>flap
>submitted by Anthony Davis
>
>You have to polish your own lance....a lot.
>submitted by Mike Nicholls
>
>Your portcullis is painted fluorescent lime green
>
>The torture chamber equipment is by "Acme Inc."
>
>The moat is full of old carriage tires
>submitted by The Mews
>
>Your hennin (pointed female headdress) is made out newspaper.
>
>Your jeweled sword handle consists of multi-colored jellybeans and
macaroni.
>submitted by Dragon's Whisper
>
>you have at least one suit of horse armor on blocks in your front yard
>
>You have the smithy weld a special pocket on your armor for your chew
>
>You have a sword rack behind the driver's seat on your carriage
>
>You don't understand why inbreeding in the monarchy is a problem
>
>You have many types of siege engines in your collection....only one or two
>work
>
>You had to have the serfs remove the wheels from your castle
>Submitted by Katherine J.H.
>
>The only dragon you've defeated is a purple one named Barney
>Submitted by David F./ Barbara H.
>
>Flushing the toilet disturbs the ducks in your moat.
>Submitted by Byron the Bard
>
>The sword in the sword rack of your carriage is rusted to the rack.
>Submitted by Robin S. Wills
>
>(This was found at http://www.clipartcastle.com/joke.htm . There is also
>some great clip art at this site)
>
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=
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