NK - Fw: [gdh] Yule stories

Angus angus at okom.net
Thu Dec 17 14:19:10 PST 1998


Sorry but a nother funny post


>If you are drinking something... STOP, Swallow. and put down the container
in an
>area well removed from your keyboard.
>
>Ibriham
>
>> Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman
>>
>> 1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have
had
>> in the past.
>> 2. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
>> 3. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the
closet.
>> 4. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
>> 5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
>> 6. When you are done with a Christmas tree, you can throw it on the curb
and
>> have it hauled away.
>> 7. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
>> 8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
>> 9. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the
back
>> of your pickup truck.
>>
>> Why A Christmas Tree Is Better Than A Man
>>
>> 1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
>> 2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
>> 3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
>> 4. A Christmas tree always looks good -- even with the lights on.
>> 5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
>> 6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
>> 7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
>> 8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its "sell by" date.
>> 9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
>> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
>> Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave
>> to me:
>>
>> TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
>>
>> ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
>> members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
>> their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),
>>
>> TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
>> ruling class system leaping,
>>
>> NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
>>
>> EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
>> from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
>>
>> SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
>>
>> SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
>>
>> FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,
>>
>> (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw
>> red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge
>> have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further
>> Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
revised.)
>>
>> FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
>>
>> THREE deconstructionist poets
>>
>> TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
>>
>> AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
>
>
>
>




More information about the Northkeep mailing list