NK - Fw: [gdh] Fw: SCA specific humor - Silverwing's Laws

[Angus]

-----Original Message-----
From: J. Bethancourt <joeb at locksley.com>
To: gdh at hugin.uunet.ca <gdh at hugin.uunet.ca>
Date: Sunday, December 06, 1998 5:36 PM
Subject: [gdh] Fw: SCA specific humor - Silverwing's Laws


>veeeeeerrry interesting.
>
>J. Bethancourt                                 White Tree Productions
>joeb at locksley.com                      http://www.locksley.com/
>http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Underground/3092/
>        http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/6696/
>
>-----Original Message-----
>from RapierNet:
>
>>>>From: Erin Alderson <aldgytha at lv.rmci.net> (by way of L. Wann/Val
>>>> Stareagle)
>>>>Subject: SCA specific humor - Silverwing's Laws
>>>>
>>>>This was posted to the RapierNet mailing list. There's so much wit &
>wisdom
>>>>gathered here I _had_ to forward it. And (for a change) there's actually
>>>>credit given to those who composed/compiled the "laws".
>>>>
>>>>Enjoy.
>>>>
>>>>~~VS
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>+ -- RapierNet - From Erin Alderson <aldgytha at lv.rmci.net> --
>>>>
>>>>Ok this isn't exactly rapier specific.  Hope everyone likes it anyway.
>>>>
>>>>Aldgytha
>>>>
>>>SILVERWING'S LAWS
>>>
>>>Silverwing's Definition of the SCA's Purpose: Law No. Zero
>>>
>>>"The SCA exists to provide an environment favorable to the amateur
>>>practice of, dissemination of information about, and consequent
>>>preservation of, diverse aspects of Medieval and Renaissance culture."
>>>
>>>Creativist fun-mavens please note: "favorable to amateurs" implies that
>>>the environment has to be enjoyable as a hobby.
>>>
>>>THE LAWS
>>>
>>>   1.There is only one rule in the SCA: "Thou shalt not be tacky". All
>>>the rest is commentary.     [Barak Raz]
>>>
>>>   2.Gresham's Law applies to the SCA: Bad medievalism drives out the
>>>good.
>>>     [SaK and Thos. Gresham]
>>>
>>>   3.Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by
>stupidity.
>>>     [This is known as Hanlon's Razor, and attributed to Napoleon.
>>>Jerome of McKenna (Jerry Pournelle) adds that "there are degrees of
>>>incompetence". Thanks to Clark Meyers for the info.]
>>>
>>>   4.The number of sauces at the feast is directly proportional to the
>>>length of your dags times the cost of the material. [Alexandre sur le
>>>Mer]
>>>
>>>   5.The media will always interview the worst-dressed person at the
>>>event. If they can't find the worst-dressed person, they will interview
>>>the least-dressed person. [Unknown]
>>>
>>>  6.What we want most from our kings is plenty to talk about, and
>>>that's what our system gives us. [Sir Lars Vilhjalmsson]
>>>
>>>   7.If you say you're it, and no one else says they're it, and everyone
>>>thinks you're it, then you're it. (The Virtual Warrant Principle) [SaK]
>>>
>>>   8.A jerk wearing a crown and five medallions is still a jerk. A noble
>>>man need not be a nobleman. [SaK]
>>>
>>>   9.The problem with "The Dream" is not "Dream". It's "The". [Adelicia
>>>of Gilwell & Robin of Gilwell]
>>>
>>>   9a.  This is not the Dream. This is what I do on weekends to have
>>>some fun. The Dream involves 4 sets of identical twins, 2 gallons of
>>>Cool Whip, 5 quarts of chocolate syrup, 2-1/4 pounds of strawberries,
>>>satin sheets, a magnum of champagne, a trapeze, and a python. [Sfi
>>>Mordecai ben Yosef Yitzhak]
>>>
>>>  10.The reason the SCA functions the way it does is because its laws
>>>are written by computer programmers.
>>>     (The reason the USA functions the way it does may be because its
>>>computer programs are written by lawyers.) [SaK]
>>>
>>>  11.The probability that you forgot to pack something is directly
>>>proportional to the distance of the event times the necessity of the
>>>item. [SaK]
>>>
>>>  12.There are only 25 faces in the SCA. It's okay, I don't remember
>>>your name either. [Elspeth Keyfe of Neddingham]
>>>
>>>  13.In the East, if the King says to dig a ditch, Curia must discuss
>>>and approve it. In the West, if the King says to dig a ditch, it takes 4
>>>months to find a shovel. [Alexander Listkeeper]
>>>
>>>  14.Art imitates life; life imitates art.
>>>     (The best re-creations in the SCA are the ones we don't even
>>>consciously try to create.) [SaK]
>>>
>>>  15.No plan survives contact with the enemy. [Field Marshal Helmuth von
>>>Moltke, via Robin]
>>>
>>>  16.He is most to be feared who has nothing at stake. [Public domain]
>>>
>>>  17.It is better to have the Pope's ear than the King's crown.
>>>     (If you want to effect real change, work with the system. The crown
>>>will change within 6 months. Welsh proverb: Gwell car yn y llys nag aur
>>>ar fys,or, Better a friend in the Court than gold on thy finger).
>>>
>>>  18.Though it be a law of Nature, there will always be someone to
>>>dispute it. [SaK]
>>>
>>>  19.Name magic works in the SCA.
>>>     (You know someone has become a friend when they use your mundane
>>>name and you don't feel vaguely offended.) [SaK]
>>>
>>>20.Never expect the king to ask his herald first. [SaK]
>>>
>>>21.Never believe the schedule in the Pre-Pennsic booklet. [SaK]
>>>
>>>22.We can, therefore we do. We do, therefore we have always done. We
>>>have always done, therefore we must always do. We must always do,
>>therefore an
>>>officer must oversee the doing. There is an officer, therefore we must
>>>report. We must report, else we will lose our tax status. (The Cascading
>>>Bureacracy Meme) [SaK]
>>>
>>>  23.Anything a king gives twice is an Order.
>>>     (If the king gives me a dead halibut, he has given me a dead
>>>halibut. If, next week, he gives you one, we are now Companions of the
>>>Halibut and I'm the principal.) [SaK]
>>>
>>>  24.SCA legislation is always reactive, never prospective. [SaK]
>>>
>>>  25.Semper litteris mandate (Always get it in writing).
>>>     [Official motto of the SCA College of Arms] (Yes, Laurel's crown
>>>says "Non Scripta Non Est" {If not written, it doesn't exist}. But I
>>>recall this version from Karina's Precedents, and it's on the West
>>>Kingdom's CoH seal.)
>>>
>>>  26.All that is needful to be respected is that one behave both
>>>respectfully and respectably. [Galen of Bristol]
>>>
>>>  27.To gain face, give face; to lose face, try to save face or take
>>>face away. [Frydherik Eysenkopf]
>>>
>>>  28.No one who is facing the audience should be surprised at court.
>>>[Daniel of Lincoln (modified)]
>>>
>>>  29.The Prime Rule of Pennsic: It's your vacation, stupid! [SaK, with
>>>thanks to the Clinton campaign....]
>>>
>>>     29A (Corollary) The 2nd Rule of Pennsic: It's everyone else's
>>>vacation, too. Someone's got to make it happen.
>>>
>>>  30.Always assume that the Crown can. [SaK]
>>>
>>>  31.Backwards compatability means never being able to say 'Ooops, we
>>>goofed'". [IBM via Tibor]
>>>
>>>  32.Beneath the calm, professional exterior of the SCA, lurk all the
>>>subtle, interpersonal dynamics of a nursery school at recess. [Adapted
>>>from Gary Trudeau, via Corun MacAnndra & Tibor]
>>>
>>>33.Courtesy includes Justice, for Justice is Courtesy to Truth. [SaK]
>>>
>>>  34.No, it isn't fair. Neither were the Middle Ages.
>>>     (And once you accept that, life in the SCA gets a lot easier and
>>>makes much more sense.) [SaK]
>>>
>>>  35.Don't let the Best be the enemy of the Good. ["Cariadoc's Maxim",
>>>Cariadoc of the Bow]
>>>
>>>  36."You Rule Because They Believe".
>>>     [Reportedly engraved on the inner surface of the Caidan crowns.]
>>>
>>>  37.Solving problems is easier if you haven't picked your solution
>>>before you start. [Azelin Cola of Wishford a/k/a Ralph the Carter]
>>>
>>>  38.The three hardest things to say are "I'm sorry", "I was wrong", and
>>>"I don't know". [Tibor of Rock Valley]
>>>
>>>  39.When in doubt, assume that any group of three or more people
>>>includes someone who is cranky for the moment, and could interpret your
>>>actions in the worst possible context. [Anton Winteroak]
>>>
>>>40.If given a blank canvas a SCAthian will go out and LEARN how to make
>>>paint. [Kimmer Bayleaf]
>>>
>>>  41.Justin's Rules of Good Bureaucracy:
>>>
>>>     Don't make a Law if a Policy will do.
>>>     Don't make a Policy if Custom suffices decently well.
>>>     And don't try to change Custom if things aren't broken in the first
>>place.
>>>     [Justin du Couer]
>>>
>>>   42.The SCA is pretty lax at enforcing its regulations, and cannot do
>>>more than slap on the wrist. But becoming a social outcast makes the
>>>game no fun. The penalty for violations of custom, while less precise,
>>>are fiercer.[Tibor of Rock Valley]
>>>
>>>  43.The most important thing is a cool mug or goblet. Without a mug or
>>>goblet, you end up with a paper cup or a modern bottle or an aluminum
>>>can in your hand and you are a SLOB. Add a cool mug or goblet and
>>>immediately you, too, are cool. [Duke Finvarr de Taahe]
>>>
>>>  44.No matter how great your triumphs in the SCA, 99.9993% of the
>>>planet couldn't care less. [Unknown, but inspired by "Laszlo's Chinese
>>>Relativity Axiom"]
>>>
>>>  45.Never hand someone a dagger unless you're sure where he's going to
>>>throw it. [Adapted from Kathryn M. Drennan]
>>>
>>>  46.The fact that I'm neutral means I'm not on your side. [Saleem
>>>ibn-Alefan]
>>>
>>>  47.Every weekend, we gather hundreds of people together, none of whom
>>>have had enough sleep. ["Robin's Unified Theory" of SCA Dynamics]
>>>
>>>  48.No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away
>>>from. [Charles Schultz via Linus van Pelt and Robin]
>>>
>>>  49.It's the inherent right of all to make dern fools of ourselfs. It
>>>ain't held by official types alone. So don't mess with it. [Walt Kelly
>>>via Porky Pine & Robin]
>>>
>>>  50.It's not enough to be involved; you have to be committed. Think of
>>>a plate of ham & eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed.
>>>[Martina Navratilova via Robin]
>>>
>>>  51.As long as we would rather have wearable shoes than perfect
>>>theories about shoes, academic standards are the wrong measure for our
>work.
>>>The easure of a paper is not the measure of a shoe. [Robin of Gilwell]
>>>
>>>  52.All that is neccessary for tacky to triumph is that class acts
>>>should do nothing. [Azelin Cola of Wishford]
>>>
>>>  53.Re-creation necessarily implies research before the craftwork
>>>starts. If you haven't done the research, you can create, but you cannot
>>>possibly RE-create. [Arval d'Espas Nord]
>>>
>>>  54.Arguing with a herald is like wrestling with a pig. First you get
>>>really dirty and muddy, and then, after a while, you begin to realize
>>>the pig is enjoying himself. [Ernst Nuss von Kitzingen]
>>>
>>>  55.Only Pennsic is worth the level of inconvenience that only Pennsic
>>>requires. [Tibor]
>>>--------------------------------- End -------------------------------- -
>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>                            dahmsoir at pacbell.net
>>>                           Scoundrel for hire.  `/;)
>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>
>>>
>>
>
>