NK - You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If

[Jerry Herring]

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...

You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's 
Farm Strawberry Hill.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to
spit.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the 
dark side...it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your 
landspeeder.

You think Han Solo would look better in flannel cause he looks like 
a little sissy in that vest.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get 
in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt
had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as
"them damn Yankees."

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with red wood
deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during
the cantina scene.

In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right."