[Northkeep] OT Humor: Make Money Fast

Fitzmorgan at aol.com Fitzmorgan at aol.com
Wed Aug 14 20:49:42 PDT 2002

[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]

> Dear Sir,
> I am an Uruk of Mordor, charged with the discovery of a number of
> valuable treasures within Moria. It has come to my notice that the
> mithril hoard previously owned by Ori of the land of Moria has been found
> by one of our cave-trolls. Under our laws, the hoard will be shared
> between our lord Sauron and the local Balrog, but so far neither knows the
> extent of the treasure.
> Sir, I come to you as a respectful businessperson in order that we may
> derive some profit ourselves from this venture, I would wish that I could
> arrange for the transfer of half of the find to yourself, costing roughly
> 20,000 silver pennies. From this amount, I will then arrange for a further
> such that 25% remains your own, 5% goes for sundry costs (including hire
> of strong Rohan horses for use in transportation), 5% is given in bribe to
> the cave troll to ensure the quantity reported to our respective Lords is
> adjusted, 65% belongs to myself and my fellow Orcs.
> In order that this be accomplished, I ask only that you provide details
> of: Your willingness to participate in this venture, Confirmation that you
> will not speak of this venture to anyone else, or wear any magic rings,
> Your race and land of residence, The location of your local Palantir or
> identity of your preferred message-carrying bird or beast, Your given
> name, and any name you are known by in the Western lands, The number of
> ponies you possess.
> I look forward to your returning correspondence, which can be whispered to
> any passing magpie. I trust that you will ensure that no other dark
> feathered birds come to hear of this transaction.


For anyone who hasn't seen one, this nicely spoofs a common email scam.

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