[Northkeep] Sir Balvins Defence

Dennis England sirbalvin at earthlink.net
Sat May 25 16:24:50 PDT 2002

Here's where I am with this.  Who I am, how I live in the world, how I
interact with others and what I expect from them is shaped by my own
experience and what I say to myself about those experiences.  I believe this
to be true about how we all come to be who we are.  Whether you agree or not
doesn't matter.  What you believe dictates those decisions and behaviors for
you.  I respect your right to have them.  Things happen in life, people get
their feelings hurt and/or hurt others.  Expectations get met or sometimes
smacked around.  It's part of the process of being human and growing.  I'm
genuinely sorry you or anyone else got your/their feelings hurt or felt
slighted.  I can't fix or change that it happened.  And I try not to do it
in my interactions with others, but sometimes it happens.  Witness the fact
that I am engaged in this discussion at all when I should have kept my mouth
shut to begin with.  So you chose to stick around and give people a chance.
That's good.  That's maturity, that's cool.  I have no doubt you add to this
barony and will make many friends here as time goes by.  But should you
decide to move on or try something else that is your decision and comes from
you alone.  It won't be someone elses fault no matter what they do.  If I
don't like what's happening anywhere and I choose to leave it's still my
choice.  I am for personal ownership and responsibility.  That was my point.
I believe in being kind to one another and to myself.  For me that means I
take responsibility for me and I expect others to do the same for
themselves.  If we all do that a lot less feelings will be hurt and a lot
more people can grow and enjoy this short existence together.  I think this
has taken enough public airwaves, I have nothing to add and I am done
talking about it in this forum.

Take Care,

----- Original Message -----
From: "The Suarez Family" <family at suarez-turner.com>
To: <northkeep at ansteorra.org>
Sent: Saturday, May 25, 2002 2:04 PM
Subject: RE: [Northkeep] Sir Balvins Defence

> Sir Balvin,
>  I wish to understand your words, so for purposes of clarification I am
> asking the following.
>  Am I to understand from this that you believe that I made up everything
> that happened and that it was my "world view" that caused me to feel
> that I was rebuffed when trying to become involved in Northkeep
> activities? My expectations of people to help me connect with people
> with the same interests as mine within this group are considered by you
> to be "unrealistic"?
>  So what you are saying, in summary, is that I should shut up and find
> something else to do because other people have had nothing but good
> experiences and so I should not tell anyone that I have a problem (like
> Laird Ian suggested I should have done) or am I completely
> misunderstanding? Please, before more miscommunications occur, clarify
> exactly what you meant to say here, and if your words were, in fact,
> directed at my sharing of my feelings or at the gentleman who left with
> his wife because they too felt unwelcome and couldn't afford to play
> elsewhere?
> Perhaps none of this is accurate at all, and this is just a failing of
> email communications itself combined with high emotions. I would prefer
> to think so, but fear that is not the case.
> Thank you and sincerely,
> Sioned
> <snip>
> > Diarmaid as I read that letter I found myself thinking we are
> > not responsible for this persons shyness or percieved slight
> > nor do I believe any evil Northkeep people tried to hurt this
> > person.  It appears there were some misunderstandings and
> > apparently unrealistic expectations of the all to human
> > members of this Barony.  My response was curt, deliberately.
> > When I hear someone blaming others and (what I saw as) trying
> > to inspire guilt and "we've been bad" response it gets me
> > going.  Especially when I don't hear anything deliberatly
> > hurtful or that some small thing was made into a large thing
> > to satisfy an individual's view of the world.
> <endsnip>
> _______________________________________________
> Northkeep mailing list
> Northkeep at ansteorra.org
> http://www.ansteorra.org/mailman/listinfo/northkeep

More information about the Northkeep mailing list