[Northkeep] Gulf storiesFW: Pork Chop Boy

Niewoehner, Hugh hughn at ssd.fsi.com
Wed Mar 23 10:43:39 PST 2005

All right guys (and gal's) where are the stories???

	For those who were not at Gulf Wars.... 
	During the second castle battle, our side was finally attacking.
The main gate of the fortress on the gulf has a walkway high over it.
Huddling on the walkway, hiding behind the low wall for protection was
an enemy fighter.  Up on the platform with him was a seemingly endless
supply of throwing axes which he would gleefully hurl down at anyone who
approached the gate too closely.
	[Aside. People called him Pork Chop Boy, because although his
throwing axes actually looked sort of like axes, too many people
remember the stupid looking throwing axes we see at Estrella - which
look far more like pork chops than any axe.)
	Calontir finally advanced on the front gate and stopped about 20
feet from the castle in a nice tight standing shield wall.  As we stood
there, I noticed that the boards which comprised the wall protecting the
axe hurler left a narrow gap - perhaps 3-4" wide and a foot tall, right
near the bottom of the platform - directly in front of the kneeling
axeman.  Can you say big-ol-grin?
	As occasional arrows bounced off our shield wall, I turned
around to Valdemar who stood behind my scutum with a spear and said
"Think you can put your spear through that gap?"  He asked "Is that
legal?"  And as I was telling him that I believed it was, Cleff stepped
up. I'm still not sure if he heard our discussion or had the idea on his
own, but he handed Valdemar a rattan spear with one of the nice small
Mandrake thrusting tips and took Valdemar's own fiberglass spear then
said "Now you can stab him through the hole."  
	So Valdemar and I stepped forward out of the line, and with him
close behind my scutum we carefully advanced toward the gate on our
"dangerous mission" (tm).  I don't know what I expected - perhaps a
storm of arrows fired our way?  None came.  Perhaps a group of spearmen
or a pulse charge from the men inside the gate?  None came.  Perhaps a
deadly throwing axe hurled from above?  None came. 
	We simply advanced together and Valdemar carefully and with a
surgeon's precision lifted his spear and sank the tip through the narrow
opening and into the soft underbelly of the kneeling axeman.  It was
horribly anticlimactic.
	But Pork Chop Boy was dead and the army cheered.
	Of course if you wait a few more years to hear the story, I'm
sure we'll tell you of the hail of arrows, the hoard of spearmen we cut
down, the pulse charges we defied, and Valdemar's desperate struggle to
spear through the opening (just 1 millimeter larger than his spearhead)
as he dodged the Pork Chop Duke's viscous killer axes....
	Fernando - I was there

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