[Northkeep] Fwd: FW: Threat Alert in Europe 2011 (or some good natured Eu...

[Anawyn at aol.com]

that absolutely made my morning! What a hoot!
Thanks
Anawyn
 
 
In a message dated 3/11/2011 8:44:13 A.M. Central Standard Time,  
burgborrendohl at valornet.com writes:

This is  all in fun, with humor based on history and some general  
stereotyping.  If you feel you might be offended, please don't  continue.


*
ALERTS TO YEAR 2011 THREATS IN EUROPE:*BY  JOHN CLEESE

*The English are  feeling the pinch in relation to recent
terrorist threats****and have therefore raised their
security level from "Miffed" to  "Peeved."***

*
Soon, though, security levels may be raised  yet again to
"Irritated"  or****even "A Bit Cross." The English have not
been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in****1940 when tea
supplies nearly ran out. ***

**

*Terrorists have been re-categorized****from "Tiresome"  to
"A Bloody Nuisance." The last  time the British issued
a****"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when
threatened by the Spanish****Armada.
**
**The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off"
to "Let's get****the****Bastards." They don't have  any other
levels. This is the  reason they have****been used on the
front line of the British army for the last 300 years.**
**
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised
its terror****alert level from "Run" to  "Hide." The only two
higher  levels in France are**** "Surrender" and
"Collaborate".  The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire****that destroyed France 's white flag  factory,
effectively paralyzing  the****country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly  and
Excitedly" to****"Elaborate  Military Posturing." Two more
levels remain: "Ineffective Combat****Operations" and
"Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to****"Dress in Uniform and  Sing
Marching Songs." They also  have two****higher****levels:
"Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual;
the only threat****they are worried about  is NATO pulling
out of Brussels  .

The Spanish are all excited  to see their new submarines
ready  to deploy.****These beautifully designed subs have
glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy****can get a  really
good look at the old  Spanish navy. *

**

*Australia , meanwhile,  has raised its security level from
"No worries" to****"She'll be alright, Mate." Two more
escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I****think  we'll need to
cancel the barbie  this weekend!" and "The barbie
is****canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use
of the final****escalation level.*

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and  tall  person

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