[Northkeep] Amusing Story

[Anawyn at aol.com]

TOTALLY amusing!!
Anawyn
 
 
In a message dated 10/2/2011 10:41:04 P.M. Central Daylight Time,  
BurgBorrendohl at valornet.com writes:



Dearest Gentles...

I pray your indulgence,  for the following story is not  
strictly related to the SCA,  but does pertain to activities  surrounding 
historical research pursuent to SCA interests.  And,  mayhaps you will

find it amusing...   I have several other  such stories,  and if my

dear readers do find some amusement in  this story,  then I would be 
pleased to present them.

Yours in Service,

Thomas Ignatius Perigrinus

Minister of Arts and Sciences

College of St Felix (choose your favorite,  there are 17  St.

Felixs)

The Lump

While I was working in Sweden,  I had many chances to visit  
London.

Through a strange set of circumstances, while performing  historical 
research I was able to be of service to the Abbot of  Westminster Abbey.

As a reward,  I was presented with a weather  worn carved capital from 
the Chapel of Henry VI'th which was being  replaced with a new one.  (The 
service had pertained to this  restoration work)  Although weatherworn 
and a bit crumbly,  it  is delicately carved, and so I worked hard to 
protect it.

Since it  weighs 50+ pounds, this was not easy.

Fortunately,  I had traveled from Sweden to England with my  good

Lady, her Mother, and her sister...   Even though the  latter two of

our party

were planning to travel onwards, rather  than return to Sweden,  it had been

cheapest to buy everyone round  trip tickets...   So the fact that I

had a 50+

pound  chunk of Westminster Abbey didn't seem like it would present a  
problem...

I had a pair of spare return trip tickets.  It  could fly as a passanger!!!!

Check  in was fun...    "I'd like to check in three  to

Sweden..."

presenting the tickets...   "Yes  sir...   would you put your carry on

bag on the  scale???"   "No,  that's one of the passangers".    "Yes, sir,

would you put _their_ bag on the scale."    "No,  I didn't make myself

clear.

That is not a bag  belonging to a passanger... that bag is the passanger."

"Excuse me  sir...   did you say the BAG is the PASSANGER?"    "Yes,  and

it would like a window seat."    At this  point they decided I was

definately

daft,  and I spent th  next ten minutes talking to various managers...

Finally that was  cleared up, and the bag got it's window seat.

Arriving at the security gate,  I placed my bag firmly  (ka-

thunk)

on the x-ray machine...  and of course no  x-rays penetrated the rock...

So they asked me;  "What do you have  in there, a rock?" "Why yes, I do".

"Well sir, could you be so kind as  to open it?" "But of course..."

Well, they were very amused, but seeing  as how I had the foresight to 
obtain a legal possesion and export  document, they finally let it through.

I thought I had it made,  but the people at the boarding gate  
noticed that I was lugging this bag as if it contained somewhat over  the

14 pounds weight allowance for carry on luggage.  Also, I was  treating 
it gingerly since it is a irreplaceable thing,  and I didn't  want to 
damage it...  "Excuse me sir, but if that bag weighs more  than 14

pounds you will have to check it..."   "No,   thats okay,  it isn't a

bag,

it's a passanger with it's own  ticket... right here."  With that, I 
showed the ticket. "Yes sir,  where is the person who's ticket this is?" 
"No, let me make it clear, this  bag is the passanger, it is going to sit 
in a seat, next to the window."  "Yes, sir, could you kindly

step into the security office with  us?..."     Sigh...

Finally we board the airplane...  I thought we had it made...

But  alas,  fate had a bit more planned for me.  Shortly after the plane  
buttoned up,  the stewardess came around and asked me if I could move  
the bag off of the seat (It was firmly seat belted in place), because a  
passanger wanted to move to the window (I should have realized that  
might cause problems). "No,  I am afraid I won't move the bag,   and

besides,  I have paid for that seat...."   "Well yes  sir,  if that is

your reserved seat,  than could you sit in  it and give the other 
gentleman the seat you are sitting in?"  "I'm  afraid I have not made it 
clear...

I have paid for a ticket for the  bag...  it is a passanger.  That is 
it's reserved seat....   I have a ticket, I am a passanger, and this is 
my reserved seat.  We  are both passangers, with tickets, and reserved 
seats...  (and trying  to suprress a grin)  And we would both like the 
chicken  entree."  ....  eventually I was able to convince the co-pilot  
that the bag was a bona-fide passanger with a ticket,  that it didn't  
constitute a threat to the welfare of the airplane,  and that it did  
have a right to both the window seat and the chicken  entree...

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