RF - Re: finding the dream

Wed May 31 21:18:07 PDT 2000

Just a few thoughts on dreams... you have dreams that you strive to reach
but in times when someone loses a dream..to getting severely hurt by one who
they respected... how do you get it back ????

I remember someone once telling me that The SCA is a place to have fun where
people care about others in their Barony, in their families and no matter if
you were new or not people were always there to help.  It takes time to
understand what the organization is about and I am still learning, and I'm
still human.  I got really hurt this past event by someone who misunderstood
a few things and twisted a few things around while telling another that I
cared about.  I lost someone I felt really close to and could trust because
they didn't want the rumors and the backlash from everyone anymore, I don't
blame them. But the one who misunderstood, and twisted things hurt me the
most because I looked to them for advice and looked to them for guidance
because I am still quite new.

I believed when I first started that I had a lot to learn and I was more
than willing to find where I belonged, I had a dream that someday I would
have a place within the intricacies of this society, I would belong
somewhere. And yet, one morning I woke up to find that my pillow was wet
from the dampness in the air, and my dreams of the SCA to be gone. I felt
like I lost my whole dream of being a part of this wonderful organization, I
felt like I lost a part of myself.

I never dreamed I would be this hurt and this crushed by someone in this
group. What is happening to this organization that people have to do cause
pain, and hurt those who really want to learn about your group, and are
struggling to just get something done right?  It's not fair for newcomers to
be looked down upon, and not everyone does it, but I have seen more than I
would like. I have even asked for help regarding some issues and how to
handle them, still only 5 people I could trust and the one I was closest to
and I fell to a game that was played with Rumors and misunderstandings.

On the bright side,
A few people have helped me, and for this I am thankful. I am learning where
I want to be, and I'd like to say it hasn't been easy on me or anyone who
knows me.   I also wanted to just say that not only am I thankful.. but I'm
also extremely sorry if I have hurt, or upset anyone.  I know people don't
like apologies, but sometimes they are necessary. And because I feel that
this may be the only way I can help those of you understand that Rumors
hurt, and there are casualties.

I want my dream back, but I know I have to find a new one if I want to
continue doing something I love... and that's Participate in these events.
Unfortunately, I wish the rumors would stop about everything.
Maybe those simple rules we learned when we were younger need to be
reincorporated in our everyday lives... the ones some tend to forget...

Give people the respect to tell them what's on your mind in person so they
aren't hurt later.
Don't use information to hurt someone in revenge because you are mad at
them.
If want a healthy friendship with someone help them unconditionally.
Give someone shoulder to cry on even if you don't know them.
Understand that things told to you in confidence need to remain with you.

And remember, the SCA does have rules, that need to be followed, and those
are there for your protection. But in all reality, it's still just a hobby,
and some respects SCA participants take this group seriously, and most
importantly everyone needs to have fun

Thank you to everyone who has helped me through everything this past almost
a year.  I know I have messed up... but to err IS human.

And again...I'm sorry if I have upset anyone OR hurt anyone in anything I or
anyone else may have done.

If the Lord and forgive and Forget...why can't we?

In respect to the crown, and everyone's time I took on my soap box.

Sincerely,
   Milady Gehennæ M'Kiernan

----- Original Message -----
From: L T <ldeerslayer at hotmail.com>
To: <ravensfort at ansteorra.org>; <ansteorra at ansteorra.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2000 5:36 PM
Subject: ANST - finding the dream

> A friend of mine sent this ...
>
> I thought ya'll would appreciate it...
>
>
>
>
> Finding the Dream>>
>
> One fine Saturday morning, MiLord woke up and realized
> he was missing something, something very important to
> him.  Saddened, he suited up in his armor and went out
> to be inspected.  Sir Knight walked up to him and
> said, "Good Morrow, MiLord! How fare you this day?"
> MiLord was dejected. "Sir Knight, I've lost The
> Dream."  Sir Knight nodded sagely, having seen this
> before.  "Indeed? Well, try a  few bouts with my new
> squire.  He needs a few pointers, and I think a few
> good fights will take your mind off it."
>
> And so it was that for a time MiLord worked with Sir
> Knight and his squire, and each gave the other
> something new and useful.  When it was done, however,
> MiLord's feelings of loss returned to him.  Lost in
> his thoughts, he wandered the camp until he came
> across Mistress Laurel. "Poor lad!  Such a long face
> you bear!  Whatever can be wrong?"  MiLord told his
> tale, and Mistress Laurel clucked sympathetically.
> "Perhaps a new song will lighten your heart!  And you
> can help me with this tunic I am making for a new
> person in our group."  They sang and made merry, even
> when he had to hold still while she used him as a
> model for the tunic, and for a time his search was
> forgotten.  When 'twas done, however,his mind returned
> once more to his problems.  Seeing this, Mistress
> Laurel laid a hand on his arm and said, "Perhaps
> Master Pelican can help you find what you seek."
>
> And so he did seek out that worthy.  Master Pelican
> listened gravely to MiLord's question.  "Where to find
> the Dream?  Oh, my.  Well, now, I believe I saw it at
> Pennsic, could you have lost it there?  Or perhaps it
> was at dance practice, I know I saw you with it then.
> Oh forsooth, MiLord, I grieve that you have lost the
> Dream!"  MiLord nodded soberly, for by now all his joy
> had fled.  Master Pelican spoke on. "MiLord, I tell
> you, I think it can be found...but for now, I see
> someone who needs your Service. Why not ask her?"
> Master Pelican smiled, and gestured toward a
> tear-streaked Little Girl who stood helplessly
> watching them both.>>
>
> This was not where MiLord expected to find the Dream,
> but a damsel in distress still deserved his help.  He
> knelt before her and said, "Little Girl, I have lost
> the Dream.  Have you seen it?"  Little Girl looked up
> at him and sniffed back a tear.  "I've lost my Mommy."
> MiLord saw that his plight was as nothing compared to
> hers, and with a flourish he swore a great oath that
> he would not rest until Little Girl
> was reunited with Mommy.  Delighted, Little Girl
> forgot her tears, and together they sojourned forth in
> quest of her, and soon enough they found her, likewise
> distressed at the loss of Little Girl.  Bowing,he
> placed Little Girl in Mommy's arms, and turned to go.
> Before he took two steps, Little Girl's voice stopped
> him.  "You oughta ask the King where your Dream is.>>
> He knows everything*."
>
> MiLord considered this, and turned his steps toward
> the King. Soon he knelt before the Throne, and having
> given proper obeisance,asked, "My Liege--I have lost
> the Dream! What am I to do?"  The King smiled down at
> MiLord, and said, "Have you now?  Look behind you."
> MiLord turned, and behind him stood New Person.  New
> Person was wearing that same tunic he had patiently
> been the model for.  In his hand was a copy of the
> song that he had sung.  His expression was bright,but>> a little
> uncertain.>>
>
> "MiLord...MiLord, I don't know what to say.  I watched
> you fight with Chivalry and Honor, and tried to learn
> from what you showed that squire.  I want to be like
> that, too!  I loved the song, and I thank you so much
> for the tunic!  Master Pelican told me how much you
> have done for everyone, and that Little Girl...you
> treated that Little Girl like a great Lady.  I wept to
> see it.  Please, MiLord, how can I be like you?">>
> MiLord was shocked.  Was this, then, the Dream?  Was
> it right here, all along?  How could he have missed
> it? He heard the King's voice,soft and wise.  "Do you
> see now, MiLord?  The Dream is not something you have.
> It is something you *do*.
>
> ">>>> In Service to the Dream,
>
> >>>>Colin of Tighan>>
> >>(Permission was given to pass along, as long as credit>> is given)>>
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