[Ravensfort] Dog vs. Cat

Mary R rufus67 at hotmail.com
Wed May 8 13:03:03 PDT 2002


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Okay..I thought that several people might get a kick out of this one.  There
is no foul language in it, but the second (cat) part is a little more dark and
may be seen as gross..but, uh..enjoy?
~Mary of Axefoot

DOG VS. CAT
For anyone who has had either pet.....
This puts everything into perspective!!!
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The
only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture.  Tomorrow I may eat
another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they
are. For no good reason was chosen for the water
torture. This time however it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
could invent such a liquid.  My only consolation is
the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
foul odor of what they call "pizza." More importantly
I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it
to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches.  The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter
of time...

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