SC - A Little Humour (Very Little)

[Aonghas MacLeoid (B.G. Morris)]

Fair-fa' ye Cooks:

Got this from another list, and thought you might appreciate it.
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>* There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
>pine in pineapple; English muffins were not invented in England or
>French fries in France.
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>* Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
>meat.
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>* We take English for granted.  But if we explore its paradoxes, we
>find...that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a
>guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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>* And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers
>don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
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>* If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
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>* One goose, 2 geese.  So, one moose, 2 meese?
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>* One index, two indices?
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>* Is cheese the plural of choose?
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>* If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
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>* If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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>* In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
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>* Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
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>* Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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>* Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
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>* How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
>and a wise guy are opposites?
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>* How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
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>* When a house burns up, it burns down.
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>* You fill in a form by filling it out,  and an alarm clock goes off by
>going on.
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>* When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
>they are invisible.
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>* And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this
>essay, I end it.

Regards,

Aonghas

May the hae meikle feres,
Kennin fae, A guid burdie,
An ding a fou coggie.......
....Lang may thee Lum Reek!!!
hylndr at ionline.net
http://www.ionline.net/~hylndr/
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