SC - re: 12 steps to seneschaldom (was re: kuskenoles)

[kat]

Humor?  You call this humor?  You're like Scott Adam's Dilbert, reality
wrapped as a cartoon.:-)  You're just trying to sucker Adamantius into
"an experience."

>WARNING! HUMOR ALERT.
>
>Aoife and Adamantius exchange some badinage:
>
>>> Now you've taken that first step, who knows what lays in store for you? We
>>> may make a Seneschal out of you yet!
>>
>>Hey, I thought you said I was wise! Just out of curiosity, what are the
>>other eleven steps? 
>>
>>Adamantius
>
>Well, the ability to thoughtfully express  abject ignorance is, IMHO,
>paramount (not that you did, but it's a start!). Complimentive Backpeddaling
>is very important, too.
>
>You must be able to follow that with a statement sort of like: "I'll get
>back to you on that", which is similar to "it's in the mail".

This comes from the Seneschal as Neutral.  No matter what your natural
inclinations, must keep the law and the peace, and must be nanny, judge,
jury and executioner.

I also like, "Let me think about that."  When people start pressing for
immediate decisions, and there is no need to make a decision that fast,
back-pedal and start looking for the hook.  What is often happening is a
couple of egos in a headbutting session, trying to use the Seneschal in
a one-up gambit.

Think about what you want to do.  Run it by a select few to refine the
idea, then run it past the populace as a whole.  If you really want to
do it, you should be able to give the idea to the group and let them
make it their own.
 
>Next you must be willing to dedicate a large portion of your time to running
>away when the phone rings, until you actually hear who is on the answering
>machine tape. Every group has a wierdo that must call the Seneschal with a
>personal crisis at 2:00 a.m. My favorite was: "What sort of tape should I
>wrap this rattan with?"

Introducing the Ogre Seneschal who has a fire-breathing dragon in his
belly.  On the other hand, set your office hours and keep them.  Loose
not thy rage unjustly and try diligently to hold thy piece, er, peace.
>
>You must be able to sneak vast amounts of copying material into your office
>account without them knowing.

Become the indispensible person, so your trespasses into the supply
closet are forgiven.
>
>You must be able to name drop on a level with the gods. You don't have to
>actually know the people involved, just how their names are pronounced. 

It's even more fun if you do know them, and introduce them when they
drop by to visit.
>
>A Toughie: You must be able to give five reasons why it is a bad idea to use
>Robert's Rules of Order in an SCA meeting context.

Please write five times, "This is a monarchy and I am the King's Steward
in these lands."    
>
>You must be able to run a meeting with an iron hand, while simultaneously
>making them all think you love them to death (even though you wish they'd
>just shut up). An egg timer with a loud DING comes in handy here.

How OOP.  "Mongo, you're the timekeeper.  Please keep an eye on sand
glass and let us know when we are taking up too much time."  "Goody!
Gunch!  Gunch!"
>
>You must develop a stock of phrases for wording policy that makes it sound
>impressive while actually meaning nothing.

Why?  Read 'em from the book (Corpora).  If it's not mandatory or
prohibited under the Corpora or the Kingdom Laws, then you can interpert
the rules.  If you got the moxie to make it stick, then that is the way
the world works.

>You must carefully cultivate no opinions whatsoever. After a year or so, you
>don't care anymore, so this isn't a problem.

Your opinions are your own.  Your actions belong to and should benefit
the organization.
>
>You must learn to convincingly smile ingratiatingly, even though you don't
>mean it.

Why?  Let Mongo smile for you.
>
>You must go to events far, far away, where no one knows you're a seneschal.
>In this way, you will never be asked to do things at your own or neighboring
>events that no sane person would volunteer to do. Did you know that a
>Seneschal is the drop-dead cook, toilet scrubber, floor sweeper, contract
>signer, and angry site-owner mediator? It has all happened to me.

Every holder of a Baronial service award has done this kind of scut work
and usually try to help wherever they go.   With Seneschals this is
formalized and warranted and completely unrecognized by anyone other
than those who have been Seneschals.  In addition and without additional
pay, you are the legal representative for the SCA, requiring you to
mediate disputes with mundanes and receive the legal summons for the
SCA, Inc. when the mediation fails.

Commonly, Seneschals and former Seneschals meet quitely in out of the
way parts of an event to commiserate and tell war stories.  This is
known as "Seneschals' Hours."
>
>You must have a bank balance sufficient to cover the sanity break you will
>desperatley need when your second term of office is over (perversely, you
>will serve a second term. This is known as Stupid Seneschal Syndrome, or
>SSS). I went to Disney. For you, should you decide to take up the torch for
>a while, I'd suggest New Orleans, preferably during Mardi Gras. Either place
>has no trouble with the shrieking that happens during your nervous
>breakdown. They think you're just having fun.

What sanity?  You were mad when you started.  The real reason you need
to take a break, is you know no one can do as good a job as you and you
have the urge to seize the reins whenever you come to populace meeting.

As for Disneyland or Mardi Gras, leaving the Seneschallate is merely an
excuse for doing those things you couldn't justify spending the money
on.  They truly can not compare to the exhilirating nightmare of keeping
an Incipient Shire with four major and seven minor political factions
from self destructing.  It is a great cure for ennui.  

>Aoife---glad to be retired after almost 5 years. Naturally, the joint is
>going to hel without me.

That sounds familiar, when are you going to volunteer again?  I've been
contemplating becoming Seneschal for a third time.

Bear

>
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