SC - Seneschal's 12 steps--Humor

[L Herr-Gelatt and J R Gelatt]

WARNING! HUMOR ALERT.

Aoife and Adamantius exchange some badinage:

>> Now you've taken that first step, who knows what lays in store for you? We
>> may make a Seneschal out of you yet!
>
>Hey, I thought you said I was wise! Just out of curiosity, what are the
>other eleven steps? 
>
>Adamantius

Well, the ability to thoughtfully express  abject ignorance is, IMHO,
paramount (not that you did, but it's a start!). Complimentive Backpeddaling
is very important, too.

You must be able to follow that with a statement sort of like: "I'll get
back to you on that", which is similar to "it's in the mail".

Next you must be willing to dedicate a large portion of your time to running
away when the phone rings, until you actually hear who is on the answering
machine tape. Every group has a wierdo that must call the Seneschal with a
personal crisis at 2:00 a.m. My favorite was: "What sort of tape should I
wrap this rattan with?"

You must be able to sneak vast amounts of copying material into your office
account without them knowing.

You must be able to name drop on a level with the gods. You don't have to
actually know the people involved, just how their names are pronounced. 

A Toughie: You must be able to give five reasons why it is a bad idea to use
Robert's Rules of Order in an SCA meeting context.

You must be able to run a meeting with an iron hand, while simultaneously
making them all think you love them to death (even though you wish they'd
just shut up). An egg timer with a loud DING comes in handy here.

You must develop a stock of phrases for wording policy that makes it sound
impressive while actually meaning nothing.

You must carefully cultivate no opinions whatsoever. After a year or so, you
don't care anymore, so this isn't a problem.

You must learn to convincingly smile ingratiatingly, even though you don't
mean it.

You must go to events far, far away, where no one knows you're a seneschal.
In this way, you will never be asked to do things at your own or neighboring
events that no sane person would volunteer to do. Did you know that a
Seneschal is the drop-dead cook, toilet scrubber, floor sweeper, contract
signer, and angry site-owner mediator? It has all happened to me.

You must have a bank balance sufficient to cover the sanity break you will
desperatley need when your second term of office is over (perversely, you
will serve a second term. This is known as Stupid Seneschal Syndrome, or
SSS). I went to Disney. For you, should you decide to take up the torch for
a while, I'd suggest New Orleans, preferably during Mardi Gras. Either place
has no trouble with the shrieking that happens during your nervous
breakdown. They think you're just having fun. 


Aoife---glad to be retired after almost 5 years. Naturally, the joint is
going to hel without me.

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