SC - Re: sca-cooks V1 #258

[Philip & Susan Troy]

L Herr-Gelatt and J R Gelatt wrote:

> If you haven't run across good English food, where have you been eating, fer
> cryin' out loud? Railway Stations? Private homes, small neat tea-houses,
> country pubs, that's the way to go, me lad. Ask 'em if they can make roast
> potatoes properly. That should be a big clue. And look for a conspicuous
> absence of French names on the menu.

I remember spending a couple of weeks in Whitby and other North Country
environs, during which time we stayed with friends and ate frequently in
local restaurants. I still have nightmares about the meat pies we bought
in a shop in Whitby. I must admit that the all-time worst was prepared
in a private home, by a lady who evidently hates to cook, and I suspect
the pork liver, pork chop, and banger combo, which she baked in a
covered casserole without liquid or seasonings of any kind, and served
with a quarter of a cabbage, a green apple, and a potato, all boiled
without seasoning, for the same [really excessive] amount of time, in
the same pot, MAY conceivably have been a political statement of some
kind. She also served us instant trifle, BTW, served on a compressed
mass of reconstituted spongecake that appeared to have been recently
ironed. Honest! It was compressed, flattened, and dried before
packaging. You had to add water and it puffed up like those sponges you
get in the hardware store. Breakfasts were almost edible, except that
everywhere we went, they were exactly the same, and they always seemed
to include really tasteless stewed tomatoes. I would prefer not to ever
have to speak of baked beans on toast again in my lifetime.

Memories of London meals include truly bad Steak and Kidney Pie (at the
Tate Gallery, whose restaurant is famous for the dish, but whose recipe
appears to include rubber pencil erasers), cakes with flourescent pink
frosting (it actually glowed under UV!), other cakes (actually pretty
good on their own), drenched in a substance which purported to be Creme
Anglais custard, but which was really sweetened bechamel sauce. Then
there were the sandwiches made on bread which gave Wonder a run for its
money for sheer awfulness, which actually visibly staled on the plate in
front of me, going from being nominally fresh and pliant to being so dry
it shattered like glass when I took a bite. (It may have been
microwaved, but this was a while ago.)

Oh, and did I mention the ice cream which I later discovered had been
made from an emulsion of milk solids, water, and lard?

I did have several lovely meals in Indian restaurants, though. All this
being said, though, I realize that my bad experiences are not
necessarily typical of anyone else's experience, nor are my accounts
intended to condemn a cuisine out of hand. I was only saying that I,
personally, hadn't really had a good meal of English food in England. I
have had far better experiences in Scotland, Ireland, and Wales, with
their respective cuisines. Your mileage may, of course, vary. 

I've also had many, many good experiences cooking from a variety of
English cookbooks, most notably Mrs. Beeton. There's an interesting
comment to be drawn from the fact that publishers looking to do a
reprint of an exisiting cookbook as a beautifully
illustrated/photographed/printed/bound coffee-table book chose to use a
book over 120 years old as their basis. I'm not quite certain what can
be drawn from that, though. 

I suppose I just had some bad luck. I'm not saying there's no one in
England who knows how to cook, it's just that I didn't meet anyone who
did, apparently, in the couple of months, in total, I've spent there. I
hope you're not taking this as a personal affront.   

> >Well, of all the people in the world, it won't me ME who tells you
> >arrogance is a bad thing! (It would look a bit odd if I did...)

I believe Lord Ras knows my stand here. Was it Harry Harrison (the
writer, not the D.J.) who said that false modesty is the refuge of the
incompetent? (Since I'm setting myself up as the bad guy here, I may as
well do it right and proper ;  )  .) 
> 
> Ok: I see a "Stump Adamantius" contest brewing up here........
>    Q: When does the earlist recipe for snails occur?

Okay. I'm stumped. Apart from the references previously mentioned
(Apicius and Le Menagier) and the historical or fictional accounts
(Gargantua and Pantagruel, to which I add somebody's life of Gais Marius
[Plutarch, perhaps?], which contains an account of a legionary under
Marius' command who discovered a giant snail in Numidia, and upon his
discharge, started a wildly successful snail farm for the Roman market),
I can't think of anything else.

> Well, I think a Tip section would be a Good Thing (tm). Try floating a
> tablespoon of butter on top of your next pot of stock-based soup. That's a
> Russian innovation, BTW.

I also think a tip section would be a good idea. Yours on butter sounds
like a bit like the English thing of thickening with butter, but also
sounds like a way to keep the soup hot in the tureen (the layer of fat
on the top seals in much of the steam, making it cool more slowly, which
could be an issue in Russia. Plus, it's tasty.)

> I was under the impression that Spelt (have I "spelt" that correctly, she
> asks innocently) was a mediteranean variety of whole grain wheat. So you're
> making thick wheat porridge and then frying it into dumplings after mixing
> in your scallops and spices. Drool.

What's this??? You think you can get away with a "Spelt" joke when I was
roundly ignored for my reference to "the offal truth" ??? Is there no
justice in this world?

Seriously, though...
> 
> You guys. You crack me up. When's Dinner?

I hear I'm slated to do EK Spring Crown in Northpass. 'Course, you'll be
living in the Kingdom of Aethelmarc long since, at that point, so...of
course the distance hasn't changed as the map does...

Adamantius 
______________________________________
Phil & Susan Troy
troy at asan.com
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