SC - Christmas Humour - OOP - OT

[Philip & Susan Troy]

Robyn Probert wrote:
> 
> Micaylah wrote:
> 
> >Martha Stewart's Holiday Calendar
> 
> OK, so who is/was Martha Stewart - apart from someone who is heavily into
> very twee craft?

Well, you might simply say she's someone into very twee craft, but
that's sort of the tip of the iceberg.

Former investment cousellor, model, actress, caterer, wedding designer,
and gosh knows what else, she has been transmogrified/apotheosed into
what Roseanne Barr (back when she was funny) referred to as The
Do-Mestic Goddess, a sort of Mrs. Beeton for the 1990's.

She wrote several successful books on entertaining, which branched off
into various other mass-media ventures, including cable television,
regular broadcast TV, radio, CD-ROM's, and any other conceivable method
of getting into your face.

She has made millions of dollars (U.S.) on the backs of a huge team of
much-abused and underpaid researchers, to create an illusion of domestic
ominscience. The Almighty him/her-self asks her for recipes and
decorating hints. She has made lasting enemies of her neighbors in the
small town in Connecticut which used to be her home, and is now more or
less her personal base of operations. Neighbors' lawns, yards, and
streets have been clogged with trucks, machinery, and other equipment
involved in the production of her various television and radio ventures,
and children are discouraged from playing in the yards attached to their
own homes, lest they make too much noise. She has publicly ascribed
their parents' ire to jealousy at her success.

Most of all, she assumes an aura of bland, monotonous (literally, I
don't just mean boring) superiority over lesser creatures, which I used
to believe was just lack of stage presence, but which I now realize is
an attempt at simulating the quiet dignity appropriate to a goddess. I
think if Athena, or perhaps Kwan Yin, would talk about how to eliminate
mildew from around the bathtub while the Coq au Vin simmers, either
would sound like Martha Stewart.

Adamantius
of the Crown Province of Østgardr, East Kingdom

Argent, an owl displayed guardant sable, between three pheons inverted
gules, all within a bordure sable.
- -- 
Phil & Susan Troy

troy at asan.com
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